What You Will
by Isabella Monroe
Summary: Loosely based on the Twelfth Night.To keep the templars off of her trail as her family escapes Ferelden,Charlie Hawke completely changes her identity and her gender.Once in Kirkwall she must continue the charade despite her growing attraction for Anders.
1. Chapter 1 If I Were A Boy

**Chapter 1 –If I Were A Boy**

"If I were a boy even just for a day,

I'd roll out of bed in the morning  
>and throw on what I wanted and go<br>Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls, I'd kick it with who I wanted

and I'd never get confronted for it , cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy I think I could understand  
>How it feels to love a girl, I swear I'd be a better man"<p>

_If I Were A Boy by Beyonce_

Charlie Hawke stared down at the templar that had been sent to take her and her sister, Bethany, to the circle. She held no animosity toward him and the more he writhed in utter pain as he died of Blight sickness, the more Charlie's sympathy only increased for him. No one should have to die like this… not even a templar. She looked at the tall warrior beside her, "Aveline, he is your husband. I can't make this decision for you."

The warrior gave a curt nod, bowed her head briefly then drew out her dagger. "I love you, Wesley."

"And I you, Love," the templar moaned as he clasped his hands over top of his wife's. The gingered hair warrior skillfully slid the dagger through her husband's ribs finding its way to his heart. The man gasped his final breath as Aveline clung to her husband and cried.

Charlie motioned for the rest of the group to back away to allow Aveline a few minutes alone to mourn her husband. Charlie turned toward the witch of the wilds who had begun to speak, "It gets no easier, and your struggles have just begun."

Aveline came up behind her, "She is right, Charlie. When Wesley doesn't return with you and your sister, the templars will just send more after you, but you're in luck, they don't know your names. They only know to look for two dark haired mages. With Bethany's… death it's only your identity that must be concealed. However, even without a detailed description, the templars will be closely examining every young ravened hair girl that tries to board a ship out of Amaranthine. However, if you dress as man and with Carver at your side as your brother, you will give them no reason to question you and you will be able to board a ship completely undetected."

"Become a man? I don't know the first thing about being a man!" Charlie stated.

"I'll help you. Besides you act more like boy than a girl anyway," Carver grumbled.

Charlie furrowed her eyebrows at her brother, "And since when do you know anything about being a man?"

Carver was about to retort when their mother cut him off. "Charlotte, it's the only way for us to leave Ferelden without the templars on our heels," Leandra said.

"Stop your sniveling, Sis… brother; grow a pair and act like a man," Carver said sarcastically.

"I'll grow a _pair_ when you finally do," Charlie said dryly.

The group quickly scavenged the bodies that were nearby and found a smuggler's rogue armor. Leandra tore the slip of her dress and cut it into strips to bind Charlie's chest. Once that was done, she quickly got changed. The armor was loose enough so that it didn't emphasize her womanly curves, but not so loose to be a hindrance.

Leandra smiled at her when she stepped out of the bushes. "Aaah, my pretty girl, we are going to have to find some type of animal fur to create the illusion of facial hair. Otherwise, that beautiful face of yours will fool no one and I'm sorry, but we need cut that long hair of yours."

"What? Why? Plenty of men have long hair," Charlie whined as she grabbed her much beloved hair.

"Aveline said that they are looking for a girl with long dark hair. We can't take the chance of them even giving you a second glance," Leandra stated as Carver drew his dagger and handed it to her.

Unable to stop herself, tears rolled down Charlie's cheeks as she watched the long tresses fall to the ground as her identity and life changed in an instant. When her mother was done, Charlie ran her fingers through her hair. It was cut close to her head with long bangs sweeping over her forehead. She let out sigh, then composed herself and stood up.

"Well, if your face doesn't give you away, that scrawny body will, but I guess we don't have a choice. At least you're tall and it's a good thing Dad thought it was prudent to train you as a rogue too. You're going to need those skills to protect yourself," Carver stated.

"You've been trained as mage and a rogue?" Aveline asked. Charlie nodded. "That's impressive."

"Father only wanted us to use magic as a last resort. He didn't want to draw unwanted attention to us, but he also wanted us to be able to defend ourselves. So he trained Bethany and I in magic, and had one of the Bann's squires that was a family friend trained us with blades," Charlie explained.

"Don't compliment her too much, it will give her a big head and we will never get it to fit below the ship's deck," Carved snipped. Charlie ignored her brother's dig as the group gathered their things. Charlie whistled for her mabari, Rhage, the dog trotted up beside her just as Flemeth gave a curt nod that it was time to go.

**xxXxx**

Charlie stared at the massive stone twins as the boat finally made port in Kirkwall three months later. She fidgeted with the bindings around her chest that were starting to dig into her sides and she scratched at her fur that was adhered to her face in the shape of goatee. Maker, she couldn't wait to be a girl again. Watching men eat, fart and shit for three months was enough to make a girl become interested in other girls.

Once they disembarked off the ship, they made their way to Captain Ewald to see about being let into the city. After a brief confrontation with a few Ferelden deserters who they had easily bested, Charlie approached the captain again.

The man eyed Charlie up and down and snorted, "Little short for a man, aren't you?"

"That's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables," Carver interjected dryly. Charlie shot him a nasty look.

Charlie dropped her voice an octave, "Our Uncle Gamlen Amell lives in the city. If you find him, I'm sure he would vouch for us."

"I know Gamlen, if I come across him, I will send him to you," Captain Ewald said.

By the end of the third day when her uncle finally made his way out of the city to see them, Charlie was at the end of her rope. Her face was driving her crazy from having fur stuck to it twenty-four hours a day for three days straight and she personally believed that once she undid the bindings on her chest that they would no longer be the perky mounds they had once been, but now concaved holes in her chest. So when Gamlen told them that they would become indentured servants for a year in order to get into the city, she jumped at the chance. At that point she would have given Carver's left ball to get into the city… she would have offered her own, but she hadn't manage to grow a pair. Unfortunately for her, the smuggler, Athenril, that she was now working for believed she was a man, so she had to continue with the charade for her safety and the safety of her family.

Now, a year later as Charlie stood before the dwarf that was offering them the opportunity of a lifetime for fifty sovereigns, she nearly bent down to kiss him, but Carver grabbed her arm to restrain her.

In a deep voice she said, "You have a deal."

"Excellent! We are going to need to get our hands a map to get into the Deep Roads there is a Grey Warden that I heard about in Lowtown, he might be able to help us out," Varric stated.

"Well, Lowtown it is; lead the way," Charlie said.

Varric led them through a few back allies into Lowtown. They passed a merchant's table where a very handsome, tall, blond man stood purchasing herbs; he looked up at her and Charlie felt her stomach flip. He was so gorgeous with his scruffy beard and honey brown eyes that Charlie couldn't help but smile at him. The man was taken aback at first, but then genuinely returned the smile. As they passed by him, Charlie looked over her shoulder and was happy to see him still staring at her.

"Stop staring at him like he's dinner. He is going to think you're gay," Carver growled in her ear.

"Well, considering I'm a man that is attracted to another man then technically I am gay," she retorted.

"But if he is gay and he finds out that you lack the twigs and berries he was expecting, he won't be happy and your cover will be blown."

"What the bloody hell? So I'm supposed to remain celibate for the rest of my life? Things will start to grow back together down there!"

Carver looked at her and couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry, Si.. Brother. I know this has been hard on you."

"You don't know anything. Spend a year in a dress and corset, then come talk to me," Charlie grumbled.

**xxXxx**

Anders had an extra spring in his step as he made his way back to the clinic. It had been over year since he had openly flirted with anyone… well, not since Elissa. The young man's face was still in his mind's eye. The man was not handsome, but actually beautiful. He had the most striking blue eyes and except for the dark black goatee his features were very feminine, but it was his smile that had blown Anders away. It was so radiant and genuine. It was like a beacon drawing him in. Anders had wanted to drop what he was doing and follow him. Unfortunately, he had a very sick child at the clinic that he had to get back to.

He spent the rest of the day working on the child that lay on his table as an unknown virus attacked his frail body. He had just healed the bit of infection when his magic gave out from sheer exhaustion. He turned away from the table and bent over, trying to collect himself when he heard the clinic door open and felt the presence of magic enter. Anders spun to face the group. The two out in front, a warrior with jet black hair and dwarf, they both looked faintly familiar, but he couldn't place where he had seen them. Beside them was a tall red headed warrior that Anders recognized as a member of the city guard. His instincts immediately went on alert. "I have made this a place of healing and salvation. Why do you threaten it?"

From behind the three stepped the young man from earlier this afternoon. He was the source of the magic, but he was dressed in rogue armor. He stepped forward and as recognition dawned on him, he smiled that brilliant smile again, causing Anders stomach to flip. He laid his blades down on the ground. "I m-mean …" he started to speak in a voice that Anders hadn't expected to come from him, but he coughed to clear his throat and then continued in a deeper tone. "I mean you no harm. I just want to talk."

As he set the blades down, he made eye contact with Anders, those striking blue eyes piercing through, him straight to his heart. He smiled again, completely disarming Anders, drawing him in, making him want to help the man in any way possible. The spirit within must have sensed the immediate attraction and was now firing off an array of warnings.

Following the rogue's lead, the dwarf beside him laid down what looked like a very nasty crossbow and spread his hands out to show his intention for peace. "We are here because we heard you were a Grey Warden and might be able to help us get into the Deep Roads."

Maker's balls why would they want to go into the Deep Roads. "If the Wardens sent you, then you can piss off. I'm not going back. They made me get rid of my cat. Poor Ser Pounce-a-lot… he hated the Deep Roads just as much as did."

The young rogue smirked at him. Not in an unkind way, but with amusement. "You had cat… named Ser Pounce-a-lot, and you took him into the Deep Roads? That's incredible. Either, you're very brave or very foolish."

"Well, I think you have to be a little of both to go into the Deep Roads, but I would definitely be a fool to return there, so if that is why you are here, my answer is no," Anders said firmly. Although, he knew if this man asked him to go back he would do it in a heartbeat.

"I am part of an expedition into the Deep Roads. I'm not asking you to go, but any information you could provide could potentially save lives," the young man said.

"I will die a happy man if I never go back to the blighted Deep Roads again. Although…" Anders hesitated, his mind scrambling trying to keep him from walking out of his clinic. "What if we helped each other… a favor for favor so to speak?"

"What is the favor?"

"I came to Kirkwall to aid a friend, a fellow mage. He is a prisoner in the wretched Gallows. The templars learned of my plans to free him. I haven't heard from him in days and I'm very worried about him." Anders looked up at him pleadingly. "Please, help me get him out of there, and you shall have your maps."

"I will gladly help you free your friend."

Anders looked at him curiously; he still felt the magic around him. "Why? That wasn't the answer I was expecting. Why would risk yourself to help me?"

"My sister was a mage… I understand the oppression that has been placed on mages and I completely disagree with the Knight-Commander's treatment of them," he stated matter-of-factly.

Anders wanted to kiss him, but instead he said, "I appreciate your willingness to help. By the way, I don't think we have been formally introduced. I'm Anders."

Again he smiled that dazzling smile, "I'm Charlie… Charlie Hawke." Then he introduced the rest of the group.

"Thank you again for your help. I will meet you outside the Chantry tonight."

Charlie nodded and then headed out the door.

**xxXxx**

Anders rushed back into the clinic that night and let out a frustrated cry. Maker, he had just killed his lover… ex-lover… he still couldn't believe he had taken Karl's life. Charlie's eyes had been so tender, so sympathetic when he had told him that his sister had said that being made tranquil was a fate worse than death. Anders agreed with his assessment and proceeded to drive the dagger into Karl's abdomen, but the realization of what he had done had overwhelmed him and he had to get out of there.

Now, Anders paced around the clinic like a caged animal as his grief over Karl's death and the anxiety of Charlie's reaction to Justice threatened to overwhelm him. What he must think of him? Anders wouldn't be surprised if Charlie didn't show up ready to kill the abomination he assumed he was and Anders really couldn't blame him.

Charlie slid into the doorway of the clinic… alone. Anders' body tensed as the rogue studied him and slowly made his way into the clinic toward him. Charlie's eyes locked onto his and again Anders saw nothing but compassion in them. Then, in a sudden rush, Charlie raced at him and embraced him. Tentatively, Anders arms encircled him. Charlie's body was so soft and the arms holding him were so tender, not at all like a man… more like a woman's.

Charlie pulled away and said, "Anders, I'm so sorry about Karl. I know he was your friend and I'm sorry we couldn't save him before he was made tranquil. I know that taking his life was difficult and I'm sorry you had to go through that."

This was the last reaction Anders had expected, and he wasn't sure exactly how to react. "Thank you," was all he could manage to mutter.

Gently, Charlie took him by the arm and led him over to a cot to rest. They sat there together for the longest time not saying a word and Anders found that extremely comforting. Finally, Charlie said, "What happened in the Chantry… that wasn't any type of magic that I've ever seen before."

"Aaah well… you see… it's really hard to explain," Anders started.

"I think you will find me a good listener and not one to judge if you give me a chance," Charlie replied as he smiled that brilliant smile of his, completely disarming Anders.

"When I was a Grey Warden at Vigil's Keep, we came across a Spirit of Justice who was trapped outside the Fade. As we spent time together, we became friends; he understood the injustices that were done to mages and wanted to help our plight. During a battle, the body that he had inhabited had been destroyed. In order for him to survive, he needed a willing host," Anders explained.

"So you offered yourself up as its host? Doesn't that seem extreme?" Anders could tell that Charlie was trying to maintain a neutral tone.

"The Fade not only has demons, but also good spirits. Where demons look to corrupt man's sins for their own gain, Fade Spirits embody our virtues. There is the Spirit of Compassion, Fortitude and of course Justice, to name a few. When I invited him in, I thought I was helping a friend… saving a friend, but my anger over the mages plight corrupted the true nature of Justice. What you saw tonight is a distorted sense of justice. When my anger becomes too great he takes over and when that happens he is no longer my friend Justice, but a force of Vengeance."

"And you can't control him when he comes out?"

"It's like you're a passenger on a boat, you see the same things as the captain, but you lack complete control. It takes all of my strength to eventually take back control once he takes over, and then I'm forced to deal with his aftermath."

"Have the aftermaths been awful?"

Anders was silent for a long moment as he thought about the first time that Justice had taken over. It was in Ferelden, just before he boarded the ship that was to take him Kirkwall. A templar was dragging a child off to the Circle. The young boy was no older than ten, easy for a templar to control, but the man was cruel and hateful in his treatment of the young mage. Anders' anger at the injustice boiled to the breaking point, and Justice emerged for the first time. What followed, was a horrific fight and in its wake, both the templar and the young mage were dead. The guilt over the death of that boy haunted and ate at him. For that reason, Anders fought for control over the Spirit. This evening had been the first time in almost six months that he had lost control. However, this was neither the time nor place to tell Charlie about what had happened in Amaranthine.

"This was only the second time that Justice has taken control since we merged. I have worked hard to rein him in, to keep him check, but it's a struggle. I had just wanted to help a friend and now I've made a mess of everything. "

"We can't always predict the outcome of our actions. We can only make them with a true heart. Your intentions were noble, Anders. You wanted to save a friend. I understand that. It might not have been the best course of action that you took, but I do understand why you did it."

"Well, underneath that scruffy exterior, I do believe you have a bit of a soft heart too," Anders said with a grin.

Charlie raised an eyebrow and grinned back as he ran his hand over his goatee. "Scruffy?" He asked as he feigned being insulted.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't presume. I know that we just met, but I feel like I know you. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"I'll let you know if you make me uncomfortable. Right now you're doing just fine."

Anders' heart skipped a beat, "Well, I'll keep that in mind." Anders paused, not sure if he should continue, but this man put him completely at ease, so he pressed forward. "In the Circle, everything is about order, rules and fearing the templars. The mages found ways to make that bearable by taking comfort in each other. Karl and I… he was the first. When we were together, we could forget that to the outside world, we were nothing but templar slaves. We hadn't been together for a long time, but I still cared about him… taking his life hurt more than I can comprehend."

Charlie rested his hand on Anders' knee and the warmth of his touch sent a wave of heat coursing through him. "I'm sorry Anders. No one should ever have to go through that, and to take a lover's life even if you hadn't been together in long time couldn't have been easy, but I hope that you will take comfort in the fact that you did the right thing. Karl is in a much better place."

"I do, and if I were ever made tranquil, I hope that someone would show me the same mercy," Anders said solemnly.

Charlie stood up, "I should be going. My brother worries about me… as if I can't take care of myself. I will stop by tomorrow and make sure you're alright."

Anders smiled as he stood up, "Thank you for everything you did tonight. My maps as am I, are at your beck and call."

Charlie smiled back, "Thank you, Anders. I appreciate it and I look forward to working with you."

Not nearly as much as he did, Anders thought as he watched the alluring rogue walk out the door.

***A/N - A huge thank you to Jinx1983 for working her beta magic. I appreciate it, my friend. You rock!**


	2. Chapter 2 Gotta Get Through This

**Chapter 2 - Gotta Get Through This  
><strong>

"When your love is pouring like the rain, I close my eyes and it's gone again  
>When will I get the chance to say I love you, I pretend that you're already mine<br>Then my heart ain't breaking every time, I look into your eyes  
>If only I could get through this, if only I could get through this<br>If only I could get through this, God, God gotta help me get through this  
>I gotta get through this, I gotta get through this, I gotta make it, gonna make,<p>

Gonna make it through, said I'm gonna get through this, I gotta get through this  
>I gotta take my, gotta take my mind off you<br>Give me just a second and I'll be all right, surely one more moment couldn't break my heart  
>Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay, just another day and then I'll hold you tight"<p>

_Gotta Get Through This by Daniel Bedingfield_

True to his word, Charlie stopped by the following day to check up on him and then the day after that and the day after that until his visits were a part of Anders' daily routine. Those visits were the best part of his day and as the sun would begin to set each day, his heart would race with anticipation for Charlie's visits. The rogue had become a good friend and the two of them would talk into the wee hours of the morning about the most trivial, mundane things, but when Charlie would stand up to go, Anders dreaded the hours that they would be apart. It had been a long time since Anders had a friend that he could trust completely and he hadn't realized how much he had missed the companionship. On the days that Charlie's business took him out of the city and Anders didn't accompany him, he was downright miserable and depressed.

If Anders was honest with himself he would admit that he was falling for Charlie, but he refused to acknowledge his growing feelings for beautiful rogue for many reasons, but the main one was that Justice demanded that they stay focused on the task at hand, that all of Anders' free time needed to be spent working with the mage underground or working on his manifesto and that everything else that didn't pertain to those things were a distraction. Justice was not happy with Anders' growing attachment to Charlie and was constantly warning him that such a friendship would be dangerous. Anders worked hard on the manifesto and with the mage underground in order to keep the Spirit content, but he ignored Justice regarding his warnings about ending his acquaintance with Charlie, because he couldn't go back to the way things had been before Charlie had come into his life. Charlie brought hope back into Anders' life and you don't realize how much you need hope until you have lived without none.

The other reason that Anders refused to admit his growing attraction and feelings for Charlie, was that the young rogue never made a single overture towards him and although there were times that Anders could have sworn that he saw desire in Charlie's eyes never once did he attempt to make an advance toward him and for that Anders was both relieved and disappointed. Anders knew it would only end in disaster if anything other than friendship ever transpired between the two of them and was grateful that Charlie had never pushed for anything more; although on some level it would have been nice to know that Charlie was as attracted to him as he was to the young rogue. Despite knowing that things would never be able to work out between them, Anders couldn't stay away from him, so when Charlie said that the gang was getting together at the Hanged Man that evening for drinks, he quickly agreed before Justice began screaming in his head that he needed to work on his manifesto.

Anders took a few deep breaths, opened the door to the Hanged Man and stepped inside. He paused a moment as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, then he made his way to toward the table where everyone had already gathered.

"Well, if it isn't the sexy apostate," Isabela chortled as he slid into a chair beside Charlie.

"It's about time you made it out of that clinic of yours, Blondie."

"I did have some work to do you know. We can't all sip ale and tell stories all day, even if they are about the sexy mage who defeated a group of bandits with a single lightning bolt," Anders joked.

"An abomination and a liar, great," Fenris growled.

"You're just jealous because no one finds you sexy," Anders replied.

"That isn't true, despite all of his tattoos, I think Fenris is very sexy," Merrill said.

Anders cocked an eyebrow. "Has anyone defined sexy for you?"

"Kitten, sexy is someone or something that you find sexual alluring. Are you saying you find our brooding, fisting elf alluring?" Isabela asked.

"I might, if we can gag him somehow. His mouth isn't very appealing to me," Merrill state matter-of-factly. Both Charlie and Isabela burst out laughing.

"You need to have confidence and a variety of wit, charm, and a few other things to make that certain someone's knees go weak when you smile at them," Anders purred.

Charlie grinned at Anders, "And you think you have what it takes to make someone go weak in the knees?"

"Depends on who that someone is; I certainly wouldn't want to make Varric go weak in the knees."

"Thank the ancestors for that, Blondie. I'll sleep a lot easier tonight knowing you won't be making an appearance in my bedroom."

"I'm more curious about the 'few other things' you mentioned. Please enlighten us," Isabela cooed.

"Yes, do share," Fenris hissed.

"If I give away my trade secrets, you'll all be as sexy as me. We can't have that."

"Now you're just being a tease," Isabela whined as she feigned a pout.

"Yes, and I will always leave you wanting more. Besides Isabela, I do believe you were the recipient of one of my many talents," Anders said with a smug smile as he took a sip of ale.

Isabela raised an eyebrow as she thought about it and then a huge grin crossed her face, "You're that runaway apostate that did that electricity thingy at the Pearl. That was nice, very nice indeed."

"What electricity thingy?" Charlie asked.

"Ooo, well he does this thing where he sends currents of electricity through you... hitting all the right places, if you know what I mean."

Anders eyebrows furrowed with curiosity as he watched Charlie shift uncomfortable and start to cross his legs when Carver subtly nudged him in the leg. Charlie quickly uncrossed his legs and rested his ankle on his knee.

"If you try that on me, I'll put my fist where you don't want it." Fenris jeered.

"Making friends and influencing people as always, elf," Varric chortled.

"When you say things like that, it makes me all exited my dear sparkly friend," Isabela murmured.

"What does she mean all the right places?" Merrill asked.

"You know, all those secret places that if touched or licked or... mmm, anyway… leaves you writhing, moaning and begging for more," Charlie said as he then cleared his throat and looked over at Anders.

Once again, he saw that flicker of desire, but before he could reply, Isabela reached across the table and grabbed Charlie's hand. "How about you and I go discover some hidden places, sweetness," Isabela mewed as Anders felt a wave of jealously course through him.

"Charlie doesn't need to be discovering any secret places with you. I'd be worried about what disease he'd come back with," Carver growled.

"Oh, look at the protective younger brother. Are you feeling left out? Want to play with the adults? I'll let you join in and I promise to be gentle when I break your cher… when I break you in," Isabela chortled.

Anders couldn't help but chuckle as the younger Hawke's face started to turn a deep shade of red.

"I would rather kiss the Archdemon's ass," Carver sneered.

"I can grrr for you too," Isabela retorted.

"I can grrr for you? I really wish I had a dictionary," Merrill complained.

"And a very stiff drink," Fenris grumbled.

To escape the growing tension, Charlie said he was going to use the privy; he stood up and wobbled a little. Anders grabbed his arm to steady him. He didn't think Charlie had that much to drink, but then again, he did arrive here late. Carver said he needed to go too and got up along side of his brother. Anders watched curiously as the two of them made their way to the back of the room. Charlie started to turn to the right where the girls' privy was located, but Carver grabbed his arm and pulled him to the left. He bent down and whispered something in his brother's ear. Charlie grinned and nodded as he followed his brother down the hall. That whole thing was really strange. Something was going on, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Anders got up and followed them down the hall; he paused just out of sight when he heard Charlie's voice, but now a bit higher. "Bloody hell, what am I supposed to wipe with?"

Carver chuckled, "Wipe? You're supposed to shake it, but no more than three shakes or its considered masturbation."

"Shake it? Shake what? I didn't actually grow anything down there, you idiot!"

"Hear anything interesting?" Isabela whispered into Anders' ear causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.

"Interesting… sure, if you define interesting as the most bizarre conversation you ever overheard" Anders replied without really thinking.

"Oooo, what did you hear, pray tell?"

For some reason beyond Anders understanding he felt the need to protect Charlie, but from what he had no idea. He just knew he shouldn't reveal the conversation to Isabela, so instead of answering her, he asked, "Do think there is something a little off between Carver and Charlie?"

"You mean besides the fact that Carver is virgin and has jealousy issues over his older brother?"

"Not just that… there's something weird going on between those two," Anders mused.

Isabela was quiet for a long moment, "I have noticed that he is overly protective of Charlie, but from what I've seen, Charlie is a wickedly fast and capable rogue, so I don't understand Carver's need to protect him. Let's just hope it's not a 'let's keep it in the family' sort of thing, cause that will be a real waste."

Anders chuckled, "I didn't pick up that vibe from them, but there is definitely something strange going on there. I just can't put my finger on it."

"If Carver has his way, we won't be able to put our anything's on anyone with the last name Hawke."

"I see you're wasting no time trying to stake your claim, in the handsome Ser Charlie Hawke," Anders observed.

"You, my dear, sexy mage, have no room to talk. I've seen the way you ogle him when you think no one is watching."

"I have no idea what..." before he could finish, Isabela pulled him into her arms and kissed him just as Carver and Charlie rounded the corner. Charlie's eyes went wide as Anders pulled away from the pirate wench.

"Well, don't mind us. We were just passing through, please continue. Pretend we weren't here. Better yet, why don't the two of you get a room?" Carver grumbled as they pushed by them.

"Do you think Charlie was more upset over seeing you or me in another's arms?" Isabela asked.

"You're evil, and you are going straight to the Void for this," Anders hissed.

"What? It's a legitimate question. If we can tell who he was more upset about, we would know where we stand, and I'll know just how much harder I will need to pursue him."

"You'll lose, I guarantee it," Anders said.

"We'll, see about that, Ser Mage. Willing to put your money where your mouth is?" Isabela challenged.

Anders paused; he didn't want to place a bet on Charlie's feelings or who he would be sleeping with; that just didn't seem right. Isabela was just looking for a quick shag, but Anders truly cared about him and even though he knew he would never be able to be anything more than just friends with him, Anders couldn't place this bet. "Nope, he's all yours, Isabela," Anders stated flatly as he turned and headed back to the table.

Charlie looked at him curiously as he took his seat beside him. "I'm surprised to see you back here. I thought by now, Isabela would have you in her room, naked as the day you were born, doing the horizontal bop."

"No, no it wasn't like that. I think Isabela might have had just a bit too much to drink. She thought I was someone else."

Charlie chuckled nervously. "Well you seemed to be enjoying the mistaken identity. I didn't realize that you liked women as well as men."

"When I was younger, I had plenty of one night stands, but those types of meaningless relationships are no longer satisfying. Besides I firmly believe that true love knows no gender," Anders explained.

Charlie's eyes widened with surprise as a sly grin spread across his face and in a voice just above a whisper he said, "Good to know."

"What are your views about it? Do you share my way of thinking or are you opposed to it?"

"I believe sexual attraction can't be defined by gender nor can true love."

"Have you ever been in love?" Anders asked.

He paused before he continued. "Yes, once… with a man... he died at Ostagar. Were you in love with Karl?"

"I did love him, but I wasn't in love with him. We lacked that spark that came with true love; you know the feeling of knowing that you were meant for each other."

Charlie nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We parted on good terms and remained friends. That's all you can really ask for when a relationship ends. Do you want to talk about the man that you lost?"

Charlie glanced around at their drunken friends and shook his head. "Not here. It's hard to talk about and I don't want to do it here, but you told me your story so it's only fair that I tell you mine."

"It's starting to get late, how about I walk with you back to your Uncle's and we can talk about on the way," Anders offered.

"Sounds good," Charlie said as he paid his tab. Anders walked to the door and glanced over his shoulder at Isabela. The pirate winked and gave him a knowing grin. Anders smiled and just shook his head.

They walked in silence for a while before Charlie began to speak. "His name was Sayer. When I first met him, I was twelve and he was fourteen. He was a squire for Bann Tondbert, the Bann of Lothering. My father wanted his… children to be able to protect themselves, but he was not trained with blades so he sought out someone who would be willing to take the time to train his children for little coin since we were far from wealthy. He knew that squires for the Bann were well trained, so after much observation, my father approached a young squire that didn't seem to have any immediate family nearby to offer him their financial support and who might be willing train three young children. Sayer eagerly accepted the offer and over the next five years he trained us vigorously. During that time he had become extremely close with our family, my parents thought of him as part of our family, although I was far too attracted to him to ever view him as a brother." He paused; touched his hair and a faint smile crossed his lips as if lost in the sad memory.

"Charlie, if this is too painful, you don't need to tell me about it," Anders said.

Charlie shook his head. "It's okay… I… I just remembered how much Sayer loved my hair…It used to be long."

Anders cocked an eyebrow, "Really?" Somehow he couldn't picture him with long hair. His features were too soft and long hair would have definitely made him look like a girl… a beautiful girl with a goatee.

Charlie grinned at him and nodded. "Yes, as a matter-of-fact it was past my shoulders, but I mostly wore it pulled into a ponytail, but when I was alone with him, he would pull it out and run his fingers through it. Maker, I can almost still feel his fingers buried there."

"You truly loved him," Anders said actually in awe at the depth of the feelings that Charlie had for this man.

He nodded, "Yes, he was my first in every way; my first best friend, my first love, my first lover and the first man that broke my heart."

They had reached his Uncle's home, but Charlie wasn't done with his tale so he gestured for them to sit down on the stairs.

"How?" Was all Anders could manage to say.

"My… my father was a mage and so was Bethany. He trained Bethany to control her magic and taught her spells, but he feared her using her magic to defend herself, because he didn't want to draw unwanted attention to her, so she too trained with Sayer, so that she didn't have to rely on magic to protect herself…"

"Charlie?"

He looked up at him with those deep blue eyes and Anders' heart melted. "You're a mage too aren't you?"

Charlie's eyes widened as fear flickered in them. "W-what makes you say that?"

"I can feel the magic in your aura," Anders replied calmly.

Anders could see his chest rapidly rising and falling as panic was rushing through him. "H-how is that possible? I can't detect your magic."

"It's because of Justice. As a Fade Spirit, a piece of the Fade is always with me… in me. It's the Fade that magic draws its power from, so it's that piece of the Fade in me that allows me to sense that power in others." Anders rested his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Don't worry; your secret is safe with me. It was wise of your father to teach you to control your magic and to give you other skills to protect yourself with."

They sat in silence for a long time then Anders asked, "How did Sayer break your heart?"

"He didn't do it on purpose, but at the time, I just couldn't find it in myself to forgive him. Before Reverend Mother Agatha took over the chantry in Lothering, the Reverend Mother was J-Jacquelyn…" Charlie stuttered on the name and he was unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

"Reverend Mother Jacquelyn was a bit of a fanatic and believed that all apostate mages and malificar should be made tranquil. She had a small group radical templars that held her beliefs and together they set out to eradicate the world of mages that lived outside the Circle. How many fell victim to her insane and extreme methods is still unknown, but my father was her last casualty…"

He paused to collect his feelings. Anders knew where this was headed and wanted to pull him into his arms to offer him comfort. Instead, he gently rubbed his back, encouraging him to continue.

"My father was discovered at a pond near our home by a neighbor. He was led into our yard… he had that blank stare… those dead eyes… that monotone voice… my mother collapsed to the ground, wailing in agony as if someone had just gutted her…till the day I die, I'll remember her cries. My father had always said that he would rather be dead than tranquil. Sayer had heard him say that at least hundred times. When they had brought my father back, Sayer and I had been in the practice ring, sparring. I could see the anger in his eyes and knew it had to mirror my own. Sayer walked over to my mother and whispered something in her ear. My mother gave a nod as he helped her to her feet. She walked over to my father, hugged and kissed him, and as she turned away, Sayer drove his dagger into my father's h-heart, killing him instantly."

"Maker, have mercy! He didn't even let you say good-bye," Anders whispered. No wonder he hid his magic and perfected his skills as a rogue.

"He knew I would have stopped him. I would never have allowed him to kill my father, even though I-I knew he was honoring my father's wishes. I k-knew he asked my mother for permission before he did it, but I just couldn't forgive him… I refused to ever see him after that day. A year later, he was in Ostagar… where he died, and I never had the chance to tell that I finally understood and that I forgave him."

Charlie hung his head as he began to cry, and the sight of it broke Anders' heart. He pulled him into his arms. The sounds of his stifled cries were almost feminine, which made it all the more heartbreaking. "I'm so sorry, Charlie." There were no words to offer, that would ease the pain of that story.

He cried for a while, but then out of embarrassment, pulled out of Anders' embrace and quickly brushed his tears away. "Well crying like a baby isn't going to win me any man points. Thank the Maker, Carver isn't here. He would never let me live this down."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about Carver. I've seen you put him in his place on a regular basis. So, whatever happened to Reverend Mother Jacquelyn?"

A sly grin crossed his face, "Someone slipped into her room in the middle of the night and slit her throat."

"Sayer?"

"I believe so," Charlie said.

"Good, the bitch deserved to die," Anders grunted.

"If I had a mug of ale, I would toast to that," Charlie chuckled.

"Well, I guess now I know all of your secrets," Anders said.

For a second Charlie's eyes widened then he gave Anders a roguish grin, "You don't know all my secrets. A g-guy has to have some mystery about him."

Anders laughed. "Oh, so I need to get you drunk more often then I see."

Charlie smiled at him. "Good night, Anders and thank you."

"You're welcome and good night Charlie," he smiled as he watched the charming rogue make his way into the house.

**Author Notes – I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I really appreciate your support.**

***A huge**** thank to my Beta Guru, Jinxy, for her excellent skills at making me look good. You rock, my friend!**


	3. Chapter 3 Wonderful

**Chapter 3 - Wonderful**

"I wanna have you, 'cause you're all I've got, don't wanna lose you, 'cause it means a lot  
>All the joy this world can bring, doesn't give me anything, when you're not here<br>Idiot me, stupid fool, how could you be, so uncool?  
>To fall in love with someone who, doesn't really care for you, it's so obscure<br>But I feel, wonderful, yes I feel wonderful"

_Wonderful by Annie Lennox_

Charlie drew a deep breath before she pulled the door to the Blooming Rose open and entered. She could do this, it didn't matter that she had never been to a whorehouse before, she was a guy and most guys had been to a brothel at least once in their lives. She just needed to act like this wasn't anything out of the ordinary, like she had been there before. Maker, that was easier said than done. The women and most of the men were barely dressed; several of the men had women pressed up against walls vigorously discovering each other's body. Andraste's fuzzy arse isn't that why they have rooms here?

Charlie made her way up to the bartender to ask where they could find Jethann, when she stopped dead in her tracks. "Uncle Gamlen!" she exclaimed in a pitch that was much too high.

Carver kicked a warning at her as both Anders and Isabela spun to look at her. She coughed and lowered her tone, "Uncle Gamlen, I can't believe you're here."

"I can't believe you're shocked. Carver is the one that brought me the first time," her uncle retorted.

"Well, I guess I won't be popping that cherry," Isabela chortled.

"Are there any cherries left in Kirkwall which you haven't popped?" Anders asked.

"Well, considering it's Kirkwall, I do believe Carver was the last one ripe for the picking," Isabela retorted.

"Nobody from this group is picking anything of mine," Carver growled.

"I don't know about that, ole boy. Isabela is a safer bet than some of these lovely ladies. Trust me, I've treated most of them," Anders cautioned.

"I do believe you just gave me a backhanded compliment."

"So Charlie isn't ripe enough or is he too ripe for your taste, my dear pirate wench?"

"No, my dear Anders, Charlie is the perfect piece of fruit." They both stared at the delicious rogue gliding across the floor. "Perfect in every way; juicy, ripe, succulent, ready for the taking," Isabela purred.

Anders watched as Charlie worked his way through the room and Isabela was right about one thing, he was perfect in every way. "I guess you won't be taking your time in trying to take him then?" Anders inquired.

"Oh, I will take my time, Anders. Of that you will never have to doubt."

"Are you two talking about my si... brother again?"

"No, we're talking about fruit," Anders stated.

"Yes, peaches to be precise. We were talking about ripe and juicy peaches," Isabela purred.

"Deviants," Carver hissed.

"Aren't you supposed to be stuck to your brother's tail?" Isabela asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Carver demanded.

"You seem to be joined at his hip. Charlie will never see some action if you're constantly watching him. Or do you like that sort of thing?" Isabela asked. Then her face took on a mischievous grin, "Ooo, don't tell me you like to watch. Maybe I was wrong about you all a long; there might be a naughty streak in you that I didn't notice before."

Anders shook his head and stifled a laugh. Isabela truly enjoyed getting the younger Hawke all riled up.

Carver's face turned red, but before he could answer, a scantily clad woman stepped in front of Charlie. "My, my, precious, aren't you just the prettiest boy I've ever seen?"

Charlie was taken aback for a second, but quickly composed herself. "I get that a lot."

"Really?" The woman said as she slid her hand down Charlie's abdomen and between her legs. "And do you get a lot with this?" She asked as she grabbed at Charlie's groin. Her eyes went wide with shock.

"Well, that must be one hell of an impressive package, even the hooker is in shock," Isabela chortled as she stepped up beside Charlie. "Is it show and tell time? I want to play," Isabela cooed as she reached for Charlie's groin, but the hooker pushed her hand away.

"I don't like to share," she hissed then she turned to Charlie and whispered in her ear, "You're secret is safe with me."

"What the hell, women? Would you all stop grabbing or attempting to grab at my brother's crotch?" Carver bellowed.

"I don't see a sign hanging from it that says 'Property of Carver, please don't touch me'," Isabela retorted.

"Don't worry, my dear man. There are plenty of ladies here that would willingly grab at your... talents. So there's no need to feel left out," the hooker said.

"What? I don't feel left out; I'm just trying to protect my brother's virtue!"

"Oh, honey, I do believe that ship has left port," Isabela chuckled.

Charlie leaned into the hooker and whispered, "Thank you. What is your name?"

"Tamara the Tantalizing Tigress, but you can call me Tammi."

"I appreciate your discretion, Tammi. I am in your debt. If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to contact me," Charlie whispered then spun to leave and nearly ran into Anders who was eyeing her suspiciously. She smiled as she slide by him and made her way toward the stairs.

"What was that all about? Don't break my heart and tell me he doesn't like women," Isabela whined.

"I do believe Charlie doesn't discriminate against genders when it comes to taking a lover," Anders replied as he studied the rogue ascending the stairs.

"And how exactly would you know that, Anders?"

"Well, instead of trying to get into his pants all the time, wench. Try having a conversation for once," Anders snapped.

"Oooo, touchy, touchy, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're quite taken with the sexy rogue."

"Who isn't? Isn't that why we all follow him around, helping him on his quests?"

"Following him does have its advantages. Such a gorgeous ass should always be followed ... among other things," Isabela purred dreamily.

"Yes, except, have you noticed that his armor is always one size to big. It's really hard to see how nice his ass is" Anders countered.

"Not when he bends over to pick something up. I just thought that he wears bigger armor to try and make up for his size. He is shorter and leaner than most men."

"Isabela something isn't right and it's like all the pieces of the puzzle are right there in front of me, but I still can't form the picture."

"You're putting too much thought into it, sweet thing. He's just a man who wants to look more intimidating. I've seen it countless times." Isabela looked thoughtful for a moment, "Although I have noticed that his voice tends to change from time to time."

"Exactly! It's as if he were going through puberty again," Anders stated.

"I agree, something strange is going on, but it's not as if we can just go up to him and ask him why he tends to sound and act more feminine at times. Maybe I just need to kiss him," Isabela said.

"What? How would that answer any questions?"

"Oh, you can tell a lot about a man in the way he kisses," Isabela cooed.

"I doubt he'll spill his secrets after one kiss from you. He might not even like it," Anders replied defensively.

"That's not what I meant, Anders. It's the kiss itself that tells you a lot about the person. The way they take you in their arms, they way their lips claim yours, the way they hold you during and after the kiss... all those things tell so much about that person and the type of lover they will be."

"You must be the most insightful pirate I have even met. You astound me sometimes."

"How many pirates have you met before me?"

"None," Anders said with a smirk.

Charlie could feel Anders eyes on her as she walked up the stairs. Bringing him along was a bad idea… a very bad idea. She knew he suspected something. Luckily she didn't think he had any idea what he was suspicious about… yet. It really would be in her best interest to stay away from him, put some distance between them, but she didn't think she could do that. He was the first person since Sayer, that had melted her heart and stirred feeling in her that she had thought had died on the day her father died. She heard him race up behind her.

"Charlie, are you okay?" he asked.

She turned and smiled that brilliant smile that she knew made Anders nervous and flustered. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seemed a bit startled. That woman didn't grab you too hard did she? You looked more in shock than in pain."

"I just wasn't expecting her to be so forward. The brothels I've been to in Ferelden, the girls weren't so cheeky."

"Which brothels have you been to? The Pearl's workers are pretty forward in their services too," Anders stated.

"Aaah, well I was at the Randy Stag in Amaranthine. Kat was very nice, not overly pushy and there was Wanda's in Denerim; never made it to the Pearl."

"That's impressive. But I do still find it funny that you were so taken aback by that woman. Tamara is known for her wide range of talents. Most men would go rock hard at her touch, or so I've heard at least."

Before Charlie could reply, Isabela rushed in, pushed Anders out of the way, pulled Charlie into tight embrace and passionately claimed her lips. At first, Charlie's mind was spinning with shock, but as Isabela ran her tantalizing tongue along her lip, her body automatically responded. Her lips parted as her arms went around her neck, Isabela's tongue intertwined with hers in a lustful, hungry dance and when the pirate finally pulled away from her, she had a knowing grin on her face, "Wow!"

Charlie nervously touched her lips, "Maker's balls, Isabela! Did the atmosphere of the place just over take and you decided to seize the moment?"

"I just had to know," Isabela said still grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, that certainly woke me up," Anders said in stunned voice.

Charlie smoothed out her tunic, ran her fingers through her hair and started back up the stairs, "Well, if you have all the crazy out of your system. We are actually here for a purpose other than to make out with each other."

Anders looked at Isabela, "And what exactly did you learn?"

"Our lovable rogue over here is quite a unique kisser, almost felt like I was kissing a ... never mind."

"No, tell me... it was like a what?" Anders pleaded.

"Don't worry about it, Anders. I think I might have had too much to drink. Don't mind me. It's just the alcohol talking," Isabela said glancing between Anders and Charlie. As she turned her back on Anders, she winked at Charlie and then followed the rogue up the stairs to interrogate Jethann.

**xxXxx**

Charlie felt Anders' eyes on her as Carver sat down beside her at the campfire. Nowadays, the mage's eyes were always on her, as if he were studying her, waiting for some type of confirmation to something he believed. "He stares at you because you don't act like a man," Carver said.

Charlie looked around to make sure that no one was in earshot. "I'm doing my best here, dear Brother, but since I'm not a man, it's rather difficult."

"You need to train your body to behave more like a man's."

"And how in the bloody hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Well, for one thing. All men _adjust themselves_…"

"You do _**what**_?"

Carver sighed, "Our armor or trousers will rub or press uncomfortably on our… Uhmm…"

"Package?" Charlie offered.

"Yes, and we have to rearrange… things."

"And you do this in public?"

"Of course; it could happen anywhere, but we try to do it discretely, so not to draw attention to what we are doing. All men do it and we recognize when we see other men do it. You however, aren't doing it."

"Men are pigs!"

"Well that may be, but it's a fact of life for a guy."

"So in order to blend in as a guy your big suggestion, is for me to start grabbing my non-existent packages every chance I get?"

"Not unless you want to be arrested for inappropriate touching or perhaps have Anders want to examine your imaginary twigs and berries for some type of infection you picked up at the Rose."

"So how often do you do it then? Is there a specific way? Do you hold it for a few seconds or will that masturbation rule kick in? I need details, Brother."

"It's done nonchalantly, in a detached manner, as if it's a common occurrence," Carver stated matter-of-factly as he pulled his leg up toward his chest and casually slid his hand down between his legs, gave a quick tug at his trousers, then reached for the flask that was resting between his legs. "And that, dear sister, is how it's done."

"That was too fast. Do it again. I need to take some notes."

"Fuck you!" Carver hissed.

Charlie giggled. "No thanks, dear Brother. I might be pretending to be a man, but I don't believe in that 'keep it in the family' sort of deal."

Carver took a sip from the flask and handed it to Charlie. "Now it's your turn."

Charlie looked at him with horror as she took the canteen from him. She took a swig then leaned forward to set the container between her legs, as she straightened back up, she shifted her weight and unceremoniously pulled at her pants.

Carver snickered at her, "Not bad. You look like you have been grabbing yourself all of your life."

"I'm a quick learner."

"On to our next problem; now that we are traveling more frequently in mixed company we are going to have to deal with the problem of morning wood or in your case the lack there of," Carver said.

"Don't we take turns gathering that? I vote for you to collect it tomorrow morning."

"Oh, for the love of the Maker, not firewood!" Carver sneered as he glanced down at his crotch and understanding dawned on her face.

She glared at him, "Well I don't have the right equipment to spring up like fucking morning glory. What do you suggest I do, sleep with zucchini between my legs?"

"Do you have any you could use?"

"That was a joke, Carver! I'm not sleeping with a vegetable between my legs."

"Good point, we might need to eat it. Want me to find you a thick stick then?"

"No, I can find my own stick. Thank you very much, I'll find you one while I'm at it. It's time to replace the old one that's stuck up your arse."

Carver burst out laughing. "I have first watch, I'll find a nice thick one for you."

"I – Am - Not - Sleeping - With - Anything - Between - My – Legs!" Charlie hissed as she punctuated every word.

"Ever?"

Charlie glanced across the fire at Anders who was engrossed in a conversation with Isabela. She stared at the scruff on his face and pictured him between her legs. The thought sent a shiver down her spine and made her smile just as Anders looked over at her. His eyes danced in the gleam of the firelight as he returned the smile. Yes, she wouldn't mind him between her legs at all.

"Well, I see you found something you want between your legs and from the look he is giving you, I would say he wouldn't mind waking up between your legs either. I wonder how disappointed he would be to discover the equipment change."

"Oh, shut up! Who asked you anyway? And as for the morning wood, I'll just make sure that I'm up before everyone else or I can just pretend to be like you and feign whacking off every morning."

"Have you been watching me? That's just creepy."

"That's just gross! No, I don't need to watch. Uncle Gamlen's walls aren't that thick. It's hard to miss all that moaning and groaning you do every morning. I'm surprised our neighbors, the Millers, don't pound on the walls more than they do already. It's shocking really, that Mrs. Miller hasn't put her boot up your arse yet."

Carver's face turned bright red. He grabbed his flask and bolted to his feet. "Well that's the last time I try to help you, _**Brother!**__"_

A few minutes later, Isabela slid in beside her, "What has Carver's smalls in a wad?"

"Oh, I'm just giving him a hard time about whacking his willy."

Isabela burst out laughing. "Now, I didn't expect that reply."

"You mean you haven't heard him? He is quite loud."

"No, but now that I know about it, I might have to offer him a hand, so to speak," Isabela purred.

"Knowing Carver, he would want both, not just one."

"Really now? Does he have that much girth?"

"How the bloody hell would I know?" Even as the words left her mouth, Charlie realized her mistake.

Isabela raised a suspicious eyebrow, "You're his brother, you grew up in the same household together, and it would only be natural for two brothers to have seen each other naked."

"No, my Mother had strict rules while we were growing up. 'No nakedness in each other's presents."

Isabela gave her a knowing grin. "I could see that where Bethany was concerned, but two brothers sharing the same room are bound to see each other naked at some point. Rules or no rules it can't be avoided."

"I kept my eyes closed," Charlie mumbled while looking everywhere except at the woman sitting beside her.

Isabela chuckled and then seemingly changed the subject. "Charlie, I know you have heard about my reputation. You know that I don't discriminate against gender when it comes to sex. Which means, I have kissed a lot of men and women so what do you think I learned when I kissed you?"

"That I'm a damn good kisser?" Charlie mused wistfully, hoping her joke would draw Isabela's attention away from her current questioning.

"Well, that's an understatement, sweet thing. Let me ask you this. Besides me, have you ever kissed a girl?"

"What?... Why?… Why would you want to know something like that? Yes, of course, I've kissed women before, bunches of them." Charlie lied through her teeth.

"Don't try and bullshit a bullshitter, my dear, I know you're lying." Isabela leaned in closer to her; the pirate's lips were nearly touching the side of Charlie's neck as her hot breath caressed her skin. Charlie looked over at Anders, whose eyes narrowed as he scrutinized the scene playing out before him.

"Please, Charlie, just be honest with me. I promise, I won't hurt you, I won't betray you, just trust me."

"W-what was the question again?" Charlie stuttered.

"The real question is. Do you believe that I know the difference between kissing a guy and kissing a girl?" Isabela asked.

"Well, considering you have a remarkable reputation as a lover. I'd say yes, you would probably be able to tell the difference with the average man or woman, but no one's perfect, my dear, even you might be wrong on occasion."

"My sweet Charlie, I know what the lips and tongue of a woman feels like, but even without that. There are too many small things that make me question your true identity."

"I wasn't aware that I had a true or false identity. What makes you question me exactly?"

Isabela grinned, "Oh, you're good; I believe Carver has coached you well and you have fooled most people. But it's the small things that have peeked both mine and Anders' curiosity."

"Anders? What does he have to do with it?" Charlie asked defensively.

Isabela slid her arm around Charlie's shoulders and drew her even closer. "Are you so blind not see that both Anders and I are vying for your attention? Anders maybe a lot of things, but I would never use the word naive to describe him, sweet thing. He is just as curious about you as I am. Just look at him," they both looked up at him across the fire. His eyes were smoldering with desire. Out of the corner of Charlie's eye, she saw Isabela wink at Anders and his eyes flared with anger. "Something is off with you, my dear friend, and we both sense it. We both care about you. Why won't you trust us?"

"I do trust you; I trust both of you with my life on a daily basis!"

"So you trust us with your life, but not enough to tell us your secret?"

"There is no secret. You're imagining things!" Charlie declared.

Isabela pulled Charlie into her arms and captured her lips. This time, Charlie wasn't completely caught off guard, but the pirate's lips still completely captivated her, drawing her in, until her body molded against hers. Isabela slid her hand down Charlie's side and in between her legs as she grabbed her groin and whispered, "I am not imagining that there are girl parts where boy parts should be."

Charlie pulled out of Isabela's embrace as she glanced over at Anders; his eyes were wide with a mixture of jealousy, hunger, anger and curiosity.

"Why did you just do that? In front of everyone! I can only imagine what they think," she said as her voice shook with fury and she looked over at Anders, whose head was now hanging down.

"You don't care about everyone. You just care about what Anders thinks," Isabela retorted.

"What?"

"You can't stop looking over at him, judging his reaction. You're only concern is, how Anders reacted to that little display of affection; you obviously have strong feelings for him."

Charlie remained silent for a long moment then sat back down on the ground. Isabela sat back down beside her and rested her hand on Charlie's knee. "Why, Charlie? Why have you been playing this elaborate game of deception?"

Charlie's face turned grim. She had been carrying this buried for over a year and the weight of it was becoming unbearable. She let out a long sigh. "It isn't a game. I had templars hunting me before I left Ferelden. I had to completely change my identity to throw them off my trail. Now my reputation in Kirkwall has been built on my male persona and I'm kinda stuck."

"Wait, you're a mage?" Isabela asked dumbfounded.

"Yes, I'm a mage and a rogue. I had to learn to fight in other ways, so that I could hide from the templars more easily," Charlie explained.

"So, why are you deceiving Anders? If anyone would understand running from templars it would be him."

"As an apostate, Anders is already in danger, but if we were to be together… two wanted mages… one of whom is actively being pursued by Ferelden templars… I'm pretty sure the luck for both of us would run out. I can't do that to him. I can't place his life in such jeopardy. Not to mention, I will probably lose Anders when he finds out the truth."

"Charlie, why do you think that? He cares about you... not your gender."

"Yes, but how would he feel if he finds out that I have been lying about who I am all this time?"

"I believe he would understand. He cares deeply for you."

"Isabela, it still comes back to my true identity placing his life in danger. I can't do that to him."

"I don't see how you're going to be able to stay away from him or him from you. I've seen the way the two of you look at each other. Unsated passion can only be ignored for so long, before it becomes uncontrollable," Isabela stated.

"Well, I don't have a choice. I have to make this work."

"There might be a way to squelch the burning desire in Anders, which might make things easier on you," Isabela cooed.

"What would that be?"

"You need a different lover, someone who would be around the two of you on a regular basis, to remind him that you are off limits. You need someone like me," Isabela purred.

Charlie laughed. "I enjoyed the two kisses that we shared and I know this is going to sound strange, but I'm really not into woman."

"Well, the way you responded to me, you really had me fooled. But what I was thinking is that you need is a beard," Isabela stated.

Charlie stroked the fur on her face, "Well, good thing I already have one."

Isabela giggled. "Not that kind. Typically, a beard is a man or woman used as a cover for a gay partner. In your case, I would be your beard to cover up your gender and to perpetuate the notion that you are in a relationship."

Charlie's eyes widened as a grin spread across her face. "That's bloody brilliant! You would do that for me?"

"I'm not the coldhearted wench everyone believes me to be. You're my friend, of course I would do that," Isabela said.

Charlie threw her arms around Isabela and kissed her cheek. "Thank you!"

Charlie heard a loud snort from across the fire. She looked over at Anders as he glowered at them, then turned away. Charlie's face fell as she realized the pain she would be causing Anders.

"You're the one that said this is what was best for him. Remember?"

"Yes, I know, but it doesn't make it any easier," Charlie said wistfully as she stared at Anders' back, wishing things could be different.

**A/N - ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support.**

*** A huge shout out**** to my Beta Goddess, Jinxy for her spankalicious beta-ing skills, for her support and for being such a great sounding board. You're the best and I am honored to call you my friend!**


	4. Chapter 4 If We Ever Met Again

**Chapter 4 - If We Ever Met Again**

"Do you come here much? I swear I've seen your face before  
>Hope you don't see me blush, but I can't help but want you more, more<br>Baby tell me what's your story, I ain't shy, don't you worry  
>I'm flirtin with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight<br>So do you come here much, I gotta see your face some more, some more

I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again  
>Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again<br>This free fall's, got me so, kiss me all night don't ever let me go  
>I'll never be the same, if we ever meet again"<p>

_If We Ever Met Again by Timberland ft. Katy Perry_

Over the next several months, Anders tried hard not to let Charlie and Isabela's relationship bother him. He told himself that there had never really been anything more between him and Charlie, other than friendship and that the connection he felt and hints of desire that he thought were there, were nothing more than his imagination and self delusion. Although, for the life of him, he couldn't see what Charlie saw in her, other than a quick tumble in between the sheets. They truly had nothing in common except drinking, both were excellent rogues and now sex… which Anders was sure they both excelled at.

Justice had been ecstatic over their relationship and continued to push Anders even harder on his manifesto and his work with the mage underground, which Anders willingly complied with in order to keep his thoughts from always drifting to Charlie.

Most of the time, Anders did a fairly good job of keeping his mind off of Charlie; even when they were on missions together, he was able to force himself to focus on the task at hand. However, Charlie still made regular visits to the clinic at night to share a bottle of wine and chat. It was then that ache would burn deep in his chest as his desire for Charlie smoldered just below the surface, always threatening to consume him. For his mental and emotional wellbeing it would have been better if Charlie had ended these late night visits, but Anders didn't have the willpower to ask him to stop coming by.

Tonight was one of those nights when his yearning for Charlie was close to boiling out of control. Charlie had sauntered into the clinic with a bottle of Antivan brandy, poured both of them a glass and then he stretched out on the cot. Anders had trouble keeping his eyes from wondering over his body. He looked down at his desk and the papers strewed across it.

"So what brings you here tonight?" Anders asked.

"You refused to go with me on my last trip to the Wounded Coast and it _wounded _me. So I thought I would check on you and make sure everything is alright."

Anders shuffled several papers on his desk. "Aaah, I'm fine. I just had a lot going on with the clinic and the mage underground. I just couldn't leave on such short notice."

"Aaah, I remember the good old days, Anders, when you drop everything at my beck and call," Charlie said with a grin.

Anders knew he was joking, but he really wasn't in the mood. "Yes, well. I came to my senses."

"Ooo, puppy likes to bite," Charlie said in a mocking tone.

"I'm a cat person, remember."

"Oh yes, that's right, must have slipped my mind," Charlie replied sarcastically.

There was a long pause and then Anders asked, "Where is Isabela tonight?"

"Robbing half the customers at the Hanged Man, playing Diamondback."

"Aaah, that's right up her alley. That and…" Anders started to say, but let his voice drift off.

"And what? Has someone shoved your staff up your ass or are you just naturally this bitchy and I failed to notice?"

"Oh, no, I am just dandy. No staff in sight or up any other places. Why aren't you helping the pirate wench explore the gutters tonight?" Anders retorted

"Hey! I was joking. No need to start bad-mouthing."

"Everything is a joke to you isn't it?" Anders questioned.

"Wow, if you were a girl I would think it was that time of the month. This is the thanks I get for bringing over my best brandy. If I wanted surly, I would have gone to see Fenris."

"Then why don't you!"

Charlie looked at him with such a pained expression that it broke Anders' heart. "I'm sorry, Charlie. That was uncalled for. It's just, I don't understand what you see in that foul mouth pirate," Anders explained.

"Her foul mouth is one of the things that I find most endearing," Charlie chuckled.

"Rrrright, that is about as endearing as a mole on a nug's ass."

Charlie burst out laughing. "If you examined more nug's arse, you might find that very charming."

"Seriously Charlie, is that what you are looking for in someone you love?"

"I never said I love her."

"You didn't say that you don't either."

"We have a good time together. We enjoy each other's company. Not every relationship ends with love, Anders. From what you have eluded to regarding your past, you should know this better than anyone."

"I never thought you would be the 'cheap fling' kind of guy. I was clearly mistaken," Anders sneered.

"Ouch! The _pussy cat _is now bringing out his claws. I never thought of you as a 'cheap shot' kind of guy."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do. So if you don't want to get scratched, I suggest you go join your part time lover at the Hanged Man."

"Well, at this point, my part time lover would be better company than the bitch I'm currently with," Charlie hissed.

"Good, I'm glad we agree on something. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out, you might get splinters and I won't be there to take them out."

Charlie jumped to his feet and glared at Anders. "You're a real bastard, you know that? Keep this bullshit up and you might just ruin the best relationship you've ever had."

"You already ruined it when you took a roll in the hay with the cheapest slut in Kirkwall!"

As Charlie spun away from him and headed for the door, Anders thought he saw tears in his eyes. In a hushed voice he said, "Good-bye, Anders."

Anders stared at the door... Good-bye... Did he mean as in permanently? Maker's hairy arse, now who was acting like a girl?

Anders paced around the clinic for the next hour as he debated with himself and Justice, but when the devastated look on Charlie's face flashed across his mind, he grabbed his staff and ran for the Hanged Man. He rushed into the tavern, looked around and didn't see him. He raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time and as he approached Varric's room, he heard Charlie's muffled voice. "I-I think I just lost my best friend, V. The pain in my chest is like a crushing weight."

"I'm sorry, Hawke. I'm sure Blondie didn't mean it."

"He was so… so vicious. I didn't know he was capable of such cruelty. Everything I've done is to keep him safe, to protect him from the templars. I never thought he would turn on me so quickly just because he didn't approve of my bed partner."

What did he mean by protect him from the templars?

"Hawke, you have to know that Anders has feelings for you? Please tell me you aren't so naive that you can't see that?"

There was no answer, but then Varric continued. "Well, then you have to know it hurts him to see you with her. You are going to have to give him time to come to terms with that. I'm sorry to tell you, but it might be easier for him if you don't visit him at the clinic at night."

"Have I lost him Varric? Have I lost him for good?"

"If the man is half as smart as I think he is, he won't let the best thing in his life walk away without a fight."

Anders slowly turned away from the door and headed back to the clinic. Now was not the time to talk with him. Anders didn't understand how Charlie could be so upset about losing him, but be in a relationship with Isabela. His hair had fallen out of its holder, as Anders ran his fingers through the loose strands, he let out a frustrated sigh. In reality, he had no right to be upset about who Charlie slept with. As much as Anders cared about him and yearned for him, he wouldn't be able to be with him. If he was a true friend, he would be happy that Charlie found someone that he enjoyed spending time with so that he wasn't alone.

The following morning, Anders had gone to apologize and even though he didn't deserve it, Charlie immediately accepted his apology. It took time, but over the next few months they slow rebuilt their relationship and their trust in each other and Anders thanked the Maker he hadn't lost the best thing in his life.

**xxXxx**

"Maker's arse, Mother…"

"Do not take the Maker's name in vain," Leandra chastised Charlie.

"That's nothing. You should hear her after she has a few drinks in her at the Hanged Man," Carver said.

Charlie stuck her tongue out at him and mouthed, "Asshole."

"If the Viscount gives us back our title, you're going to have to start acting more like a lady of nobility and not some common street thug," Leandra said.

"There is nothing common about me," Charlie stated matter-of-factly.

"I don't hear you denying the thug part," her mother observed.

"Thug is such a nasty word… I prefer the term entrepreneur or venture capitalist."

Carver looked her up and down. "It's hard to believe once you are out of all that loose fitting armor that you're actually a girl."

Charlie reached out to smack him, but he quickly ducked out of the way. "Charlie, hold still! You're going to make the hemline crooked with all that jumping around."

Charlie let out a sign as she straightened the material of the dress her mother was hemming. Her mother thought that it was only appropriate to petition the Viscount dressed as a noble. Leandra had searched the markets for months, trying to find the perfect material and the ideal price. When she had finally found exactly what she was looking for, Charlie had become her model since both her and her mother were the same size. Her mother's impeccable taste had paid off because the dress was beautiful. It was a terracotta orange silk chiffon gown, but the material was unlike anything that Charlie had ever seen. It had an iridescent gleam to it that depending on how the light reflected against the material, a warm, mossy green tone shimmered across it. The tight, V cut, pleated bodice had a drop waist that met a layered flowing skirt. A red velvet ribbon accented the deep orange fabric as it wrapped around the upper torso to her back, where an addition ribbon laced down the back of the corset bodice. Her mother had added a pearl and crystal broach at the V cut neckline, emphasizing her breasts.

"Well that should do it. Now if you could just be patient a little longer, my dear, and let me see how the outfit looks with the wig I purchased," Leandra said.

"And explain to me once again, why you're going to wear a wig, Mother?" Charlie asked.

"Because the last time I met the Viscount, I had a head of raven black hair like yours and he had made several comments about how beautiful he thought my hair was…"

"Are you trying to get a date or our estate back?" Carver asked.

Leandra smiled as she straightened the flowing black tresses on Charlie's head. "A woman has to use all of her assets to get ahead in life. If I need to remind the Viscount that he once found me attractive in order to get our Estate back, then so be it."

Leandra stepped back from Charlie and let out a wistful sigh, "Maker's breathe, you're absolutely stunning."

Carver glanced over at her, grinned and spoke as if he were from some back-woods part of the country. "Well big brother, you sure make a _purty_ girl."

While their mother's back was turned, Charlie gave him the international hand gesture for "fuck you." Carver was about to make the international hand gesture for "wanker" when a loud knock came at the door.

"Carver, please get that," Leandra said as she continued to examine all of her hard work.

Charlie heard the sound of the door open, her eyes went wide when she recognized the distinct sound of Isabela's voice and her hands began to tremble when she heard Anders' voice. Leandra grabbed her shaking hands. "Don't worry, my dear girl, no one will recognize you. I promise."

Isabela and Anders walked into the room both of their eyes went wide with shock. "Oh my, who would this lovely vision be," Isabela cooed.

"This is my cousin, Charlotte. She is visiting from Denerim," Carver said.

"Maker's breath, Carver, I didn't think anyone that gorgeous could possibly be related to you," Anders observed.

Charlie giggled, "Pleasure…" she paused, coughed as she realized her voice was too low and then started over. "Excuse me, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Charlotte, this is Charlie's companions, Isabela and Anders," Carver stated.

"The pleasure is all mine, my dear Lady. It might just be the family resemblance, but it feels as if I've seen you before." Anders replied as his eyes intensely studied her.

"I just can't see it, but I've have been told before that I look a lot like my cousins," Charlie said.

"I have to agree with Anders, you most definitely get your good looks from the other Hawke, currently not here." Isabela paused as she looked around the small room as if someone might be hiding a dark corner. "Where pray tell, is that luscious man of mine," Isabela asked with a knowing grin.

"He's in the privy chamber and has a bit of an upset stomach. I wouldn't advise going in there to greet him," Carver said dryly.

"Carver, I think you're mistaken. Charlie said he had some errands to run for your mother," Charlie corrected as she scratched her head with her middle finger. Isabela stifled a laugh while Anders looked confused about whether or not she had done that on purpose.

"Any idea when he'll be back?" Isabela asked, still trying not to laugh.

"Any minute," Carver said at the exact same time Charlie said, "Not for a while."

Anders scratched his head, "Okaayy? Now I'm confused. Which one is it?"

"Please ignore my cousin, I think he has been nipping at the sherry bottle this morning," Charlie said and then in a whisper, added, "I do believe he's three sheets to the wind."

"Aaah, he doesn't look drunk," Anders observed.

"Hey! I'm n..." Carver whined.

"Don't even try to deny it dear Bro... Cousin. You were walking into the walls a few minutes ago," Charlie grinned as Isabela once again tried to resist laughing.

Isabela sauntered up to Charlie, and slid her arm through hers, "Charlotte, I was just telling Anders about this lovely cafe that just opened up right here in Lowtown. Anders and I were going to go there for a bite to eat. We would just love it if you could join us," Isabela purred.

"I appreciate your offer, but I can't possible go out at the moment. I came to visit my aunt and cousins after all. I think they might consider it rude if I just leave them to themselves right now," Charlie explained.

"Oh no, we wouldn't consider it rude at all. Please, Cousin, I insist that you join Anders and Isabela for lunch," Carver said as he feigned being the gracious host.

Charlie stared daggers at her brother, "What about you, Cousin? Why don't you come along as well?"

"Oh no, I think I'll take a nap and sleep off all that sherry I drank," Carver jeered.

"Fine, you enjoy yourself," Charlie hissed through gritted teeth.

With her arm still laced through Charlie's, Isabela led her toward the door, she leaned in and whispered, "Andraste's sweet twat, Charlie, it's truly a shame to cover up that beautiful face with that fake beard."

"Which beard are we talking about? You or the animal fur," Charlie asked dryly.

"Isabela, would you mind if I escort the lovely lady to lunch? I think Charlie might get the wrong idea if he sees you joined at the hip with his gorgeous cousin," Anders asked.

A sly smirk crossed Isabela's face. "Oh, and we wouldn't want to give him that impression, now would we. I'll let the two of you go off and enjoy lunch, as long as you promise to bring this delicious creature to the Hanged Man later on. I'm sure the whole gang will want to meet Charlie's distant cousin. Maybe that man of mine might even eventually show up."

"I certainly hope so," Charlie mused as if speaking to herself.

Anders slid his arm around her waist as he escorted her out the door.

**xxXxx**

From the moment that Anders walked into the room and saw Charlotte, he was unexplainably drawn to her. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. The family resemblance was strong and her mannerisms reminded him in some strange way of Charlie. Maybe that was why he was drawn to her.

Justice adamantly objecting to Anders wasting his time on such frivolous activities; Anders decided to ignore him. He hadn't taken a day off from the clinic since he arrived, unless he was accompanying Charlie on a mission and that was hardly a relaxing endeavor.

Charlotte was delightful company. She was carefree and lighthearted, where Charlie always seemed uneasy, on edge, as if waiting to be discovered for a bad deed. Charlotte did have the same wicked sense of humor as Charlie and she kept him entertained and on his toes throughout their lunch.

Once the waiter had poured their wine and left the table, Anders leaned forward. "So, how is it that a charming woman such as yourself is related to the weird and wonderful Hawke family? Are you very close to your cousins?"

"How do you know I'm not weird and wonderful too? You just met me," Charlotte asked coolly.

"Among my list of extraordinary talents, I am also a good judge of character. You do remind me of Charlie in some ways, but there is a mystery around you that I find intriguing."

She gave him a roguish grin that drove him crazy. It was so similar to Charlie's and Maker, if it didn't have the same effect on him. "Mystery, huh? I find that intriguing. Why do you find me mysterious?"

"There is something about you that seems so familiar to me, but I just can't put my finger on it. I feel as if I know you, and yet there is so much about you that I don't, because I just met you. That's the mystery."

"Ask me anything you want. I am an open book," Charlotte cooed in a sweet sexy voice.

"Okay, let's start with, where have you been all my life?" He asked with the cutest smile.

Justice was screaming something in his head about how completely inappropriate his comment was, Anders told him to sod off. He was having way too much fun.

She giggled, "Probably right under nose and didn't even realize it."

"Trust me, I would have noticed if you were. I would have to be the biggest idiot in Kirkwall if I hadn't noticed you here before," Anders stated.

Charlotte laughed even harder. She had the sexiest, most feminine laugh he had ever heard. It was the complete opposite of Charlie's. It always seemed as if he was trying to stifle his laugh, but when it did escaped it was a cross between a pig snorting and dog baying. "Sometimes the very thing you want can be right in front of you without even seeing them there until you are ready too."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think that I am an idiot and you do actually live in Kirkwall. But seeing as I have faith in my abilities, my next question would be where are you from?"

"I grew up in a little village just outside of Denerim."

"Does this little village have a name? And do you still live there? I am quite familiar with Ferelden, you know."

"It's a tiny village. You've probably never heard of it. It was called Oxbridge. I currently live in Denerim."

Anders had sensed the magic in her from the moment that he had walked into Gamlen's house. "Soooo, you've never been to the Ferelden Circle of Magi?"

"No, what would I do there? It's quite a walk from Denerim, you know."

"I thought you might have learned to practice magic there. Although I knew all the beautiful apprentices and I would have definitely remembered you." Anders watched as her face completely drained of color.

"I... I don't have magic. Whatever gave you that idea?"

"I can sense it in you," Anders said as his eyes narrowed in on her.

"You're a mage?" She asked as she leaned across the table so not be heard and exposing the tops of her creamy breasts. Anders swallowed hard and forced himself to look into her eyes.

"I told you I have a number of impressive skills. Being a mage is only one of them. How do you manage to slip the templars? It's not an easy thing to do."

"You're mistaken. I'm not a mage and the mages that I have known, my uncle and cousins being among them, I have never known a mage to be able to sense magic in another," she retorted.

"Oh, liar, liar, knickers on fire. You're a mage. You know it and I know it. So admit it and I might tell you how I can sense it."

She leaned further in, exposing even more of her breasts. They looked so supple, so soft... she was trying to distract him and by the Maker's hairy balls she was doing an excellent job of it. She smiled at him and purred. "Let's not argue about whether or not I have magic. Why don't you tell me about all the pretty apprentices you tried to seduce and how successful you were?"

"I can't reveal those precious secrets to you. If I want to have any hope of getting to know you better."

"And why is that? I'm not intimidated by your previous conquests. That is what makes you who you are today."

"That's very open-minded of you. Most young women are insecure about a man's past."

"Well, I'm not most young girls.

"You certainly aren't," Anders interjected.

"And I won't be intimidated by your past if you won't be intimidated by mine," she cooed with a sly grin.

"Oooo, sounds very intriguing and again very mysterious, but it might not make me look good in your eyes if you knew that I might have had a crush on your cousin."

The same roguish grin that Charlie had, spread across her face, "Might have? You certainly got over your feeling awfully quickly. It's probably a good thing that he didn't get involved with you if you're the love and leave him type."

"I'm not…Well, not anymore. Besides, he chose to be with another. I can't stand in the way if he has feelings for someone else. I still do care about him a great deal, even if I'm not the one by his side," Anders confessed.

"So am I just a distraction to easy your pain? Someone to help you forget about the one you really want, but can't have."

"What? No, not at all. Oh, damn it! I'm getting this all wrong. I am turning into a bumbling idiot in front of you. No one has ever had that effect on me before, it has caught me off-guard," Anders sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. He used to be much better at this. In the past he could have charmed a woman or man out of their clothes in a minute flat with time to spare, but now he was a blithering idiot. No one, man or woman, had ever unnerved him so completely as Charlotte had done.

She reached across the table and gently grasped his hand. Her touch instantly calmed him and comforted him. Charlie had only ever touched him once and it had been the first night they had met. From that point on it was as if he had made an effort not to physically touch him. "Anders, my cousin has many fine qualities, but he must be a blind fool not to want to be with someone like you."

"Are you trying to make me pine after your cousin again?" This had to be the strangest conversation Anders had ever had and he had never been more confused or more captivated in his life. One minute she was outrageously flirting with him and the next, pushing him back towards Charlie.

"My cousin lives in your fair city, I am only a visitor. Eventually I will have to leave and disappear from your life."

"No. I don't want you to leave. As I said, I am drawn to you like a moth to a flame. If you leave now, you will be the second Hawke who breaks my heart. I would end up as a weird old mage sitting in a lonely little house, surrounded by cats, mumbling about the one good day in my life that I spent with you. You don't want me to turn out that way, do you?"

She laughed that incredibly sexy laugh of hers. "I can't stay here forever, Anders. This isn't my home. I am only here to visit on my aunt and cousins, but while I am here I would love to spend time with you when you aren't busy helping Charlie."

Anders smiled. That was all that he could ask for at this point. "Charlie along with the rest of his companions are meeting at the Hanged Man this afternoon for drinks. Would you like to join them?"

"They're drinking in the middle of the afternoon?"

"Of course! It's a tradition here in Kirkwall, didn't anyone tell you?"

"No, they failed to mention it. Are you sure it's a Kirkwall tradition and not a Charlie tradition? I do recall his love for brandy."

"It's hard to say, really. Charlie has brought a lot of changes to Kirkwall in the time he has been here. He does know good brandy when he sees it. Do you have a favorite brand?"

"I'm a big fan of Antivan wine and brandy."

"Wow, so is Charlie. Isn't that a coincidence?" Anders mused.

"Excellent taste in alcohol must run in the family."

"Being drop dead beautiful must also run in the family."

"You think my male cousin is beautiful?"

"He is beautiful. I know it's a strange way to describe a man. But he is."

"We are talking about Charlie right? Not Carver?"

"Oh sweet Maker! Of course we're talking about Charlie. Carver doesn't have any beautiful qualities from what I've noticed," Anders snorted.

She chuckled. "Just checking...What else do you think about Charlie?"

Anders eyes narrowed. "If I didn't know any better I'd swear you're fishing for compliments, but why do you care what I think about Charlie?"

"He's my cousin. I'm concerned for his happiness and well being," Charlotte answered.

"Then you should be asking Isabela her thoughts on Charlie, not me," Anders replied as he tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"I'm sorry, you sound upset. I didn't mean to distress you," Charlotte said sympathetically.

"I-I didn't mean to sound bitter. I'm not. I'm over… it… really."

"Are you trying to convince me of that, or yourself?" She asked.

"Both of us, I imagine. But things change. It will only get better from now on. I know it will!"

She gently ran her thumb across the top of his hand causing a shiver to ripple through his body. "Before, when I asked you if I was a distraction from your pain, I asked you that because I wanted to let you know that while I'm here in Kirkwall, I don't mind being a diversion for you."

Justice roared in his head to run! Anders almost fell off of his chair. When he regained his ability to think, he once again told the spirit to bugger off.

He didn't want Charlotte to just be a diversion. Maker, he wanted… fuck he wanted to call her his… he wanted to marry her and have kids with her and he knew how crazy that sounded because he had just met her, but she felt like home… safe... secure… loved. He let out a sigh in frustration.

"Why couldn't I have met you five years ago? We would be married with three kids by now. I know I just met you, but I'm drawn to you in way I can't explain. I-I want so much more with you than just a diversion, but I fear in the end I would break your heart. That is if you didn't break mine when you returned home."

"Anders...I..."

"Ssssh, please don't say anything. Let's not ruin what otherwise has been the best afternoon of my life."

She nodded in agreement then excused herself to use the privy chamber before they headed to the Hanged Man. When she exited, she discretely handed the host a note and what looked like a couple of coins. Then she headed back to the table.

"Did I just see you give the host a message?" he asked.

"Yes, I asked him to have a message delivered to my Aunt, so that she doesn't worry."

Anders nodded as he rested his hand on the small of her back and lead her toward the door. "That was very thoughtful of you."

A/N - If you were curious about Charlie's dress this was the inspiration for it. – ht tp : / / www . rossetti . vispa . com / raphflame . html (Remove the spaces)

*A huge thank you tothose of you, who have favored, alerted and reviewed. You make my day so much brighter. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

*All hail to her Majesty the Betalicious Jinxy for her superior grasp of the English language, her exceptional spellcheck aptitude, her outstanding ability to help me get the creative juices flowing and her most impressive turn around speed! I bow to you…or curtsy…or both! You rule Queen Jinxy! Was that over the top? How does it feel? ; )


	5. Chapter 5 Today Was A Fairytale

**Chapter 5 - Today was a fairytale**

"Today was a fairytale, you've got a smile that takes me to another planet  
>Every move you make everything you say is right, today was a fairytale<p>

Today was a fairytale, all that I can say, is now it's getting so much clearer  
>Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face, today was a fairytale<p>

Time slows down whenever you're around. But can you feel this magic in the air?  
>It must have been the way you kissed me, fell in love when I saw you standing there<br>It must have been the way, today was a fairytale, it must have been the way, today was a fairytale"

_Today was a Fairytale by Taylor Swift_

Charlie leaned into Anders and relished the feel of his hand around her waist. She had wanted to be with him for so long, to know the feel of his lips on hers, to experience the thrill of his caress. Anders' hand tenderly stroked her side as they walked, sending a wave of desire coursing through her. Charlie imagined Anders pulling her into an alley, pushing her against the wall as he pressed into her and claimed her lips as his velvety tongue explored her mouth. Her knees went weak at the thought, and Anders gripped her waist even tighter.

He looked down at her and gave her a knowing smile. "Are you okay?"

"Aaah yes, I tripped over a cobblestone."

Anders continued to smile as he pulled the door to the Hanged Man open for her. "Okay, if you say so."

The whole gang was already there and as they made their way over to them, everyone except Isabela looked completely stunned as Charlie approached the table.

"Does Charlie have a twin that we didn't know about?" Merrill asked.

"Trust me Kitten, if Charlie had a twin I would know about it. I am all about doubling my pleasure," Isabela cooed.

"Let me present Charlie's cousin, Charlotte," Anders said. Then he went around the table and introduced all Charlie's companions.

Varric ordered another round for the table then turned to study Charlie. His eyes narrowed as if he were sizing her up. Finally he said, "The likeness is remarkable. Do you fight as well as your cousin?"

"Oh… well, probably not… I mean…"

"Charlotte can kick Charlie's arse," Isabela stated and Charlie's eyes went wide in disbelief.

Anders eyes narrowed at the pirate, "And how would you know that? You just met her and have never even seen her in a sparring ring."

"It's a feeling I get. I can just tell when I meet an exceptional fighter," Isabela replied.

"Charlie is remarkable fighter. I wouldn't even want to compare myself to him," Charlie said humbly.

"Well, I think the only way to find out is if we have you and your cousin spar against each other," Isabela challenged.

Charlie kicked Isabela underneath the table as hard as she could.

"Ouch!" the pirate cried out.

"What is it?" Merrill asked.

"Something just bit me," Isabela groaned as she gave Charlie a dirty look.

"I think a sparring match between the cousins is an excellent idea," Varric said as he continued to stare at Charlie.

"It would be most entertaining," Fenris stated.

Through gritted teeth, "Isabela, I do believe I need to use the privy. Would care to join me?"

"I'm fine, sweet thing," Isabela said until she looked up at Charlie and saw her glaring at her. "On second thought that isn't a bad idea."

They headed back towards the privies, Charlie started to head to the left when Isabela grabbed her arm and pulled her to the right. "Ladies are this way."

Once alone in the chamber, Charlie spun to face the pirate wench. "Have you gone bloody insane? What in Maker's balls possessed you to suggest that I spar with myself? How in Andraste's twat am I supposed to pull that off?"

"I'm sorry, Charlie, I had this hysterical vision of you fighting as Charlie, dressed in your Charlie garb against you dressed as Charlotte and the idea just leapt out of my mouth."

"Well an idea better leap out of your mouth to get me out of this. Varric is already suspicious. He's eyeing me like I'm a nug on a spit that just finished roasting."

"Well, you do look very tasty to me," Isabela cooed.

"Stop it! You have a boyfriend… remember."

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Some boyfriend… he never puts out. I'm hornier than a three headed bronto."

"Thanks to you, he has a lot on his mind at the moment. You know stress does cause a man to have limp dick. So you might want to lighten up some and in the meantime, let your fingers do the walkin' if you have such an uncontrollable itch," Charlie replied with a grin.

"My fingers are nearly broke from all the walking they have been doing," Isabela grunted as the two of them headed back to the table. She slouched down into her chair and pouted.

"What's the matter with you? Did Charlotte turn you down," Anders chuckled as Charlotte sat beside him.

"Something like that; not mention I'm bored," Isabela grumbled.

Charlie's leg brushed against Anders and the warmth of his body sent a chill thorough her. Anders smiled over at her and Charlie felt her face flush. What the hell was he doing to her? One minute he was sending chills through her than the next her body was burning up with a sudden need to press herself against him. She needed to get control of herself.

Anders rested a hand on the bare skin of her back. His soft fingers gently caressed her skin that sent a flame of desire coursing through her as he leaned toward her. "Are you okay? You can use my coat if you're cold."

The warmth of his breath on her neck combined with heat from his strokes on her back were causing her mind to spin out of control, but she couldn't stop herself from leaning against him. The need to feel him pressed against her was becoming an overwhelming hunger. Maker, if he kept touching her back like that she would be ripping her clothes and his off right here.

She turned, leaned into him so that she could whisper in his ear, "I'm fine. You seem to be doing an excellent job of warming me up." It took all of her will power not pull his supple earlobe in her mouth and suck. Would that make him moan she wondered? What would it take to make him cry out her name and beg her for more? She pictured her lips sliding down his throat across his muscular broad chest as she made her way down toward… the sound of Varric's voice snapped her out of the fantasy. Anders gave her another knowing smile as his fingers continue to brush soft strokes across her back awakening something in between her thighs; something that she had ignored for years, but was now raising its sleepy head.

"What do you suggest then, Rivaini?"

"Well, I know this very cool knife game."

"Is there a possibility that I will be healing hands that have lost a finger or two?" Anders asked as he removed his coat and slid it around her shoulders. She pulled the jacket around as she breathed in his scent. Anders discreetly slid his hand underneath the jacket and continued stroke her back as his fingers slipped lower and around her side toward the swell of her breasts. His fingers trailed around the curve of her breast as he tenderly caressed her. Her head was spinning with desire now, wanting to feel his hands all over her.

Isabela grinned at him, "Not if you win."

"I don't think I like games that could cause you to lose a finger. What fun is there in that?" Merrill asked.

"Well, we played this game at the Circle where we would shoot fireballs at each other, slowly increasing the strength of the spell. The winner was the last person still standing," Anders said nonchalantly as his hand still covered by his coat, cupped her breast and gently squeezed.

Charlie furrowed her brows as she stifled a moan, "Mmhmm, I-I would prefer a game that didn't involve the chance for dismemberment or a high threshold of pain. I know a fun game that you have to make assumptions about a person's past based on how well you judged their character."

"Sounds like a boring game," Fenris stated dryly.

"That's because you don't have character," Anders said.

"Kitten, do tell. This could be interesting."

Anders thumb subtly glided over top of her nipple just as she began to speak. "H-here's," she started to cough and she heard him laugh softly. He was having fun with this. If only this table had a table cloth she would give him a taste of his own medicine. She cleared her throat and started over as Anders' thumb continued stroke her now taut nub. The beast between her legs now had its head raised as it stretched, yawned and became fully awake with tingling desire and hunger. "Here's how it works, I make a statement about your past that I believe to be true. If I am correct you drink, if I am wrong I drink… and there is no lying," Charlie explained.

"As I said, boring," Fenris grumbled.

"This sounds like fun. I will start," Isabela cooed and Charlie shot her a warning glare.

"I can see a very drunk Charlotte real soon," Anders mused.

"Oh really, and why is that, exactly?" Charlie asked.

"Well because we all know each other, so we'll be able to beat each other. You on the other hand are still new around here, and don't know that much about us. How do you plan to win?"

"I'm an excellent judge of character," Charlotte said in her defense as Anders continued to slyly manipulate her breast until she knew she was soaked between her thighs, beast roaring for Anders attention. Maker's balls, what the hell was he doing to her? She was acting like a Blooming Rose whore, but she couldn't stop him even if she wanted to. Her body was now screaming for his touch, but only a teasing thumb and forefinger pinched at her nipple through the thin material of the dress. Her body jerked and she bit the inside of her lip to keep from moaning.

"Really? Then why don't you start?" Anders chuckled.

"O-okay. I'll start with you, my dear sweet m-mage," she paused as she tried to gather her thoughts. What she wanted to say was you're a fucking clit tease and if I don't feel your mouth on my wet center immediately I'm going to come undone. What she actually said was, "Anders, I've… I've come to discover that you are a very…" Anders pinched and gently pulled her nipple… Fuck! She closed her eyes and hit her hand against the table several times as she pretended to search for a word. "Y-you are a… giving… yes, very giving person… you will go out of your way… to make sure those around you are satisfied… Aaah, I mean happy… yes very… happy."

Isabela's eyes furrowed, but Anders smiled as he lifted his mug of ale and drank.

Anders chuckled. "You are very observant."

Charlie grabbed a napkin from the table and began to fan herself. "Thanks… It's warm in here. Is anyone else hot?"

Isabela raised an eyebrow, "Maybe you should remove Anders' coat. I'm sure that is the source for all of the heat."

"Yes… yes, very good point," Charlie said as she slowly started to remove the coat giving Anders enough time to tactfully remove his hand.

Anders pretended to help her remove the coat, he leaned in and whispered, "Such a shame, I was thoroughly enjoying myself and from the looks of it, so were you."

Before she could reply, Anders turned to Varric, "You always felt like the unseen, unwanted child since Bartrand was clearly the favorite."

Varric lifted his mug and drank as he muttered, "Would you like a jar of salt to pour into the wound while you're at it."

Charlie's skin was still burning for the touch of Anders hand and her body was crying out from the lack of satisfaction. She craved him, yearned for him… but she knew this couldn't go any further. Charlotte was only here for a visit, she didn't live here and she couldn't. Her appearance would only draw attention to her from the templars. Her current look resembled the mage that the Ferelden templars were after. Charlotte had to leave soon. She looked over at Anders; the hunger that she saw in his eyes had to mirror her own. Yes, the sooner Charlotte left, the better.

Varric turned to Isabela, "Underneath that tough exterior of yours, lies a heart of gold."

"Don't tell everyone that. I do have a reputation to uphold," Isabela chuckled as she sipped her ale. When she lowered her glass her gaze rested on Charlie and she grinned. "You once had scandalous affair with a woman?"

Charlie glared at her, "Drink."

"You prefer to dress in drag," Isabela stated.

"Drink."

"Do I need you to remind you of your own rule about lying?" She asked.

"Drink!"

Isabela gave her a nasty glare back. "You're an excellent rogue and an expert with dual weapons."

Charlie lifted her mug and took a gulp.

Anders arm slid around Charlotte's shoulder and her hunger for him cried out. His eyes narrowed on her, "Where did you learn dual weapons?"

"That isn't how the game works, you make a statement not ask a question," Charlie replied coolly as she eased away from him, trying to put some space between them, trying to give her body time to cool down. Then she turned her attention toward Fenris.

"Fenris, you are a very angry elf who spends most of your time plotting revenge on your former master," Charlie observed. Fenris nodded in approval as he lifted his ale.

"How did you know that?" Anders asked completely stunned as he slid closer to her, trying to close the gap between them.

"I told you, I'm a good judge of character," Charlie said calmly.

"That's very impressive considering you just met me." Fenris leaned across the table toward Charlotte as he eyed her suspiciously, "The family resemblance is so striking between you and Charlie that the two of you are often mistaken for brother and sister, not cousins."

Charlotte smiled then raised her mug and drank.

"I agree, Charlotte and Charlie look more like siblings than Carver and Charlie. Maybe Carver was adopted," Merrill wondered.

Charlie laughed. "I think at times Charlie believes that very thing about Carver."

Charlie turned to Anders and smiled, "You have a wide variety of sexual conquests in your past, but you have never found a deep and soulful connection with anyone."

Anders mouth dropped open then closed, then opened again. "It that your imitation of a baby bird," Isabela chortled.

"By all that opening and closing, Blondie, I do believe the lovely lady guessed right. Drink!"

Anders narrowed his eyes at Charlie, "You weren't born in Oxbridge."

Charlotte hesitated as she looked at Anders; he smiled and said, "I do believe it was your rule that said no lying." Charlotte shook her head as she drank.

"You have the grace of a true aristocrat. You have nobility in your blood," Merrill declared.

The whole table turned, looked at Charlotte as she slowly lifted her glass then everyone spun back around and stared at Merrill in amazement.

"That is the most observant thing I think I have ever heard you say, Kitten. You're definitely making progress."

"Yes, well I do have my moments," Merrill said flippantly.

Anders was astonished by the revelation. "Why didn't I see that?" He muttered. Then he leaned, cupped her ear so no one could see and whispered, "I did see this however." He pulled her earlobe into his silky mouth and sucked. A tremor shot through her body forcing her to hiss. "That's what you were thinking about earlier, wasn't it?"

Charlie stared at him completely stunned. "Are you a mind reader?"

Anders laughed. "No, I'm just good at reading people."

Charlie pulled away from him, "Anders…"

But he cut her off as he looked at the pirate wench, he said, "Isabela, rumor has it that you once had a roll in the hay with both the Hero of Ferelden and the King of Ferelden," Anders said.

"Not true, I had a tumble below decks with them."

"At the same time, Rivaini? I need details."

"Oh, they were two young kids out to save the world and needed a way to relieve some of the tension and that is where I came in," Isabela purred.

"Isn't it true, Anders, that you are also well acquainted with the Hero and that she gave you Sir Pounce-A-Lot?" Varric asked.

"Define well acquainted."

"Careful my dear sexy mage, you might be dropping yourself in hot water with that answer," Isabela grinned.

"I was good friends with Elissa Cousland. I healed her tender body numerous times, but the one thing I was never able to mend was her broken heart," Anders said coyly.

"Why was the Warden-Commander broken hearted?" Merrill asked.

"Surely you have heard the bard's tales of the star crossed lovers," Anders asked. Merrill shook her head.

"Well, Daisy I will happily tell you the tale at a different time. No one wants to hear that sad story right now."

"Speaking of star crossed lovers. Where is that man of yours, Isabela?" Fenris asked.

"I don't know, but when he gets here, I'm going to have to give him a real tongue lashing for being late."

"He may like that," Varric chuckled.

A messenger rushed into the tavern and up to their table. "Aaah, I have a message for Captain Isabela."

"That's me." Isabela took the message, tipped they young lad and then read the note. "Charlie apologizes for being late, but he got tied up with handling some family business for his mother."

"If he is much later he's going to have a hell of a time catching up," Varric stated.

Isabela leaned over the table and took Charlotte's hand, "I would love your opinion on a dress I just bought."

"Isabela in a dress... is the world ending tomorrow?" Anders asked.

"Hey, I wear dresses when I want to look exceptionally good for my man."

"What's the occasion? The one month anniversary of the first blow job you gave him?" Fenris jeered and Charlotte began to choke on her drink.

"You're lucky Charlie didn't hear you say that, elf. He might have been inclined to remove some of your appendages. "

"Are you okay? You seem a bit flushed?" Anders asked.

"Not really the visual I needed to have of my cousin."

"Ah, don't mind the elf. He likes to make an ass of himself all the time," Anders chuckled.

"I'm sure my concern is apparent," Fenris said dryly.

"So will you join me my room?" Isabela asked Charlotte.

"Proceed with caution, men and women have gone to the pirate's room never to be seen again," Varric warned.

"That's because they always stay and beg for more," Isabela winked at Charlie.

Charlie grinned back at her friend, "I'll take my chances. I think I can handle myself."

"Yes, I believe you are the best person to help me in getting in and out of a dress," Isabela purred.

"Watch yourself, wench, you already have laid claim to one member of the Hawke family, no need to be selfish," Anders stated.

"Don't worry so much, I promise not to try and explore her deep roads today. Does that make you feel better?"

"Not really!"

"I'll be back soon. Don't miss me too much," Charlie said and winked at Anders.

Isabela led Charlie up to her room. When they were out of earshot, Isabela hissed, "What the hell was going on between you and Anders?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't play coy with me. I'm not as naïve as everyone else at that table. I know hot and bothered girl when I see one, what was Anders doing to you 'cause I want to take notes."

"None of your damn business."

Isabela laughed, "That good, huh? I'll get the mage to tell me."

When they entered the room Carver was already waiting for them.

"So glad you could put down the ale and join me up here," Carver growled.

"Worried about your reputation as a Chantry boy virgin?" Charlie retorted.

"Honey, being seen coming out of my room will only improve your reputation."

"Did you bring my armor and disguise?" Charlie asked.

"No, I'm hanging out in the wench's room cause I really do want to sleep with her," Carver said dryly as he handed her the backpack.

Isabela cocked an eyebrow, "Well that's what you said last night when I found you in my bed, sweet stuff."

Carver turned three shades of red. Charlie's mouth dropped open as she stared at Isabela. "What? You… and my brother!"

"Well, I have to know what it's like to sleep with a Hawke. What if someone presses me for details?"

Charlie shook her head, "Whatever… I really don't want to know. Now Carver, if you could get out so I could get changed."

"A _thanks_ would be nice," Carver grumbled as he headed for the door.

"Thanks!" Charlie and Isabela said in unison. They looked at each other and Charlie gave Isabela a look of disgust. "I believe we are thanking him for completely different things."

Once Carver closed the door, Charlie quickly started to change. She had just slid on her shirt and was pulling up her trousers when a light knock came at the door and as the door began to open, Anders said, "What is taking so long?"

Isabela grabbed Charlie spun her around so that her back was facing the door, grabbed the wig, whipped it off, threw it in the corner and began to passionately kiss Charlie.

"Ooo, sorry… Charlie… when did you get here?"

Keeping her back to the door, Charlie coughed, lowered her voice and said, "Obviously just a few minutes ago if I still have my clothes on."

"Aaah… right… sorry. Where is Charlotte?"

"She had to rush back to the house. My mother needed her help to prepare for her visit to the Viscount. She told me to tell you she is sorry that she didn't have a chance to say good-bye. Now if you'll excuse me, Anders," Charlie said as Isabela ran her hand down and grabbed her bottom. Charlie let out a cry in shock.

"Right," Anders said as he closed the door behind them.

**xxXxx**

He couldn't believe that after the incredible day they had spent together that she would leave without saying good-bye. Anders sat back down at the table. Had his advances frightened her off? No, that couldn't be it. She was enjoying herself and she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Justice had been screaming in his head to stop and how inappropriate his behavior had been, but Anders couldn't control himself around her. She caused his head to spin, his body to ache and his soul to soar. Maker, he had only known her for a few hours and she had completely turned his world upside down. He hadn't behaved so boldly with a woman since Amaranthine and it felt good to act like his old self.

As he drank some more ale, Justice was rambling on about distractions, tasteless and unacceptable actions and rude manners. Anders told him to shut the hell up. If he needed a sermon he would visit Sebastian.

"What's taking so long?" Varric asked.

"Isabela is shagging the hell out of Charlie," Anders said soberly. Carver started to choke on his ale.

"In front of Charlotte?" Varric asked.

"Huh?... Oh no, Charlotte's aunt needed her back at the house immediately to help with some preparations for her visit to the Viscount this week," Anders explained.

"Aaah, so does the little mage have his feelings hurt that the beautiful and charming lady didn't say good-bye," Fenris mocked.

"Shut up, Fenris," Anders growled.

Anders sipped his ale and mulled over the events of the afternoon. Charlotte seemed to have been enjoying herself just as much as he had, so even if her aunt needed her, why would she leave without saying good-bye. It just didn't make any sense. Anders recalled the feel of her body pressed against his, his hand shaking as he boldly caressed her breast… Maker, his mouth had watered at the thought of pulling that taut nipple into his mouth and then taking his time as he explored the rest of her body. He had never been so hard in his life, thank the Maker that the table hid his groin or else everyone would have been clued in to what was going on between him and Charlotte. As Anders drained his mug and poured another glass of ale, Charlie slid into the seat beside him.

"That's a great trick Isabela, you take a woman to your room and return with a man. What the hell takes place in that bedroom of yours?" Varric asked.

"Let's just hope she can't change anyone into an animal of some sort. That could be frightening for the other guests of the inn," Merrill stated.

"I have had a few pussy... cats in there from time to time. You're a cat person, Anders. I'm sure you can appreciate that." Isabela replied.

"I love cats, but not in that way," Anders retorted.

"Oooo, I love kitties too. There so soft and huggable… makes you to kiss them," Merrill said.

Isabela gave Anders a roguish grin, "So tell me, Anders, in what way do you love a kitty?"

"I love the fluffy variety… the kind that licks your face if they like you," Anders stated.

"You're avoiding the question, my dear sexy mage. I didn't ask you what type of pussy cat you love, I asked in what way you do you love a kitty cat," Isabela cooed.

"We aren't talking about cats anymore are we," Merrill asked.

"Actually, Daisy, we never were talking about those kinds of kitties," Varric explained.

Anders grinned right back at the pirate wench, "I am not a catch, scratch, thank you Sire Mage kind of guy." Anders leaned in toward Isabela, "I like to take my time… to learn all the right strokes, to acquaint myself completely with what makes the kitty purr. Which touch makes them mew, which caress makes them quiver and which way I rub has them crying for more."

"Oh my," both Isabela and Charlie sighed together.

Anders looked over at Charlie and saw the same desire he saw in Charlotte's eyes, flicker through his and he couldn't help but smile at the knowledge that he had that affect on the two Hawkes that mattered to him. Anders' eyes furrowed as he looked at the rogue's goatee, "Charlie, your goatee is crooked."

"Yes, I know. If that damn brother of mine would stop shaving his legs with my razor, the blade wouldn't be so dull."

"I think you're referring to your own leg hairs, Brother. Come on, show me yours and I'll show you mine."

Charlie glared at Carver, but before he could reply Isabela said, "Boys, this is no time for show and tell, but if you both want to join me in my room later I would be happy to render my judgment."

"I'm not going into your room, I might come back and discover that I'm a woman," Carver retorted.

"You aren't? All this time I thought you were a woman pretending to be a man," Fenris said dryly as Charlie started to choke.

Anders patted him on the back. "Are you okay Charlie?"

Charlie grinned at him as he continued to cough, "Y-yes... I just f-found what Fenris said extremely hilarious."

"Fucking irony... you have to love it," Carver muttered as he gulped down his ale. Realizing his comment had made more than a few eyebrows raise, he stood up a placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Brother, I was told by our mother to bring you home earlier tonight, so let's get moving."

"Since when does Charlie need you to babysit him?" Anders asked.

"I don't need a babysitter so why don't you run along, baby brother, and let the adults enjoy themselves," Charlie snapped.

"Where are the adults? I don't see any."

"Careful who you're calling an adult; I have a reputation to uphold," Isabela chortled.

"Listen, Junior, why don't head home before things are said that both you and Hawke will regret. I will make sure that your brother heads home shortly," Varric said calmly.

"That's if either of you can remember where we live," Carver retorted as he threw on his travel cloak as he headed out the door.

"There's a boy that is in serious need of getting laid," Anders chuckled.

"Are you planning on lending a hand, or any other body-part? Although I don't think it will help; he has to be the most uptight boy I have ever met," Isabela snickered.

"Leave him be! There is a lot that he is dealing with," Charlie said defensively.

"Blood is definitely thicker than water," Varric said as he tipped his glass toward Charlie. Charlie raised his glass toward him. "However, I do sense a story there, my friend. Do tell!"

"Now is not the time…"

"Hawke said dismissively." He grinned.

"Varric, I hate when you do that…"

"Hawke retorted angrily."

"I'm about to run you through with my blade…"

"Hawke purred in the most loving way toward his dear friend."

"I would stop while you still have all of your manly bits," Isabela laughed.

"I have a question for you, Varric, if you had to choose between losing your chest hair and losing your manly bits, which would you hate losing the most?" Anders asked.

"Well, that is a tough question. Bianca is a big fan of the chest hair, but I'm a big fan the family jewels. So Hawke, if you ever feel the need to remove something from my body, then a clean shave it is."

"Just not with my razor," Charlie snickered.

"Remember, Hawke, we're friends. You like me... I keep all of your secrets," Varric leaned forward to whisper to Charlie although Anders was able to pick up what he said. "Even the ones you don't think I know."

Anders watched as Charlie's eyes went wide with shock and then furrowed as he frowned at Varric. What the hell did the dwarf mean by that?

Charlie leaned forward and whispered something that Anders couldn't make out, but the dwarf gave a curt nod of understanding.

Then Charlie smiled that radiant smile that always stopped Anders' heart and said, "I'll come by tomorrow and we can discuss that."

"That's a brilliant idea, Hawke, and I look forward to the discussion."

The mood lightened and the banter continued on for several more hours. Anders was enjoying the time with his friends, but the voice of the Spirit in his head grew louder and louder with each passing minute until the only way to appease it was to say good night and head home.

The following morning, the clinic was packed with patients and Anders worked nonstop as he treated each and every one of them with care and compassion. It had to have been close to noon when Anders finished with his last patient and a messenger rushed in and delivered a message to him.

Anders opened the sealed letter and looked at the signature. It was from Charlotte and he smiled. He admired the handwriting; it was so eloquent. Completely unlike Charlie's whose script was barely legible.

_Dear Anders,_

_First I need to apologize for my abrupt departure last night. My aunt insisted that I return immediately and I feared that if I returned to the table, your lovely company would halt my exit. I hope that you can forgive me and please know that leaving your side was the last thing I wanted to do._

_I also wanted to let you know what a wonderful time I had with you yesterday. You are as charming as Charlie described and even more handsome than what he depicted. I am glad that we had a chance to meet and spend the day together. My time here in Kirkwall is short and most of it will be spent helping my Aunt get ready for her visit with the Viscount. If I don't get a chance to see you before I have to head back to Ferelden, please know that the best day of my life was spent by your side. I will look back on yesterday with great fondness and dream about what could have been if we had met at a different place and time. _

_With all of my heart,_

_Charlotte_

Anders grabbed his staff and headed for Hawke's house as Justice roared in his head about what a huge mistake this was. Once again, he ignored the spirit. He had just met her, but was drawn to her even more than he had been drawn to Charlie. It was unexplainable, but he couldn't let her go, he wouldn't her go. There was no way Anders was about to let that woman walk out of his life.

**A/N- I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support. I always try to respond to review posts, but I have been out of town for a few days so if I missed someone, I apologize and please know that I am grateful for you taking the time to read and review.**

***I also want to thank my fantabulous beta, Jinxy, for her rad, mad beta-ing skills, for her support and for being such great sounding board. I appreciate your help turning my ramblings into cohesive sentences. You rock!**


	6. Chapter 6 If You Leave Me Now

**Disclaimer - This story is a AU. I just wanted to make that clear before you proceed with this chapter. Please enjoy!  
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**Chapter 6- If You Leave Me Now**

"If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me  
>No baby please don't go<br>If you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me  
>No baby please don't go<br>A love like ours is love that's hard to find  
>How could we let it slip away<br>We've come too far to leave it all behind  
>How could we end it all this way<br>When tomorrow comes we'll both regret  
>Things we said today<br>Cause I need you more than you'll ever know"

_If You Leave Me Now by Chicago _

Charlie lay on the cot in her room enjoying just being herself and not having to pretend to be someone else. It was a feeling most people took for granted. They woke up every morning, climbed out of bed and they were just whoever they were born to be, but where's the fun in that, right? How mundane and ordinary?

_How wonderful that would be, she thought. _

Charlie's life had become so unbelievable complicated. She thought about the events of the past few months. She had brilliantly backed herself into a corner and she wasn't sure how to get out of it. Most of her days were spent as Charlie…male adventure capitalist extraordinaire, cavorting around Kirkwall, rescuing the defenseless, saving puppies and kittens wherever she…he went, trying to make enough coin to support his family while saving for the Deep Roads expedition and shagging his extremely hot and provocative faux lover. Most evenings she was Charlotte, who was with Anders. She had finally admitted to him that she was a mage. There was no denying it he felt her magic and the few times that her anger got the better of her he had felt the veil slip open. It was actually a relief once she had made the confession and as it turned out it had actually brought them closer together. Anders, Anders, Anders…she thought she was in love with him before as Charlie, but now that she could be more of her true self with him, had completely captured her heart. She longed to be with him, to have him hold her, touch her, take her, but both of them were holding back; afraid to venture forward. She wasn't sure why he was hesitant to move their relationship forward, but for her it was the deception of her charade that forced her to pause. She loved him, she didn't want to hurt him and she wasn't sure how he would react when he found out that Charlie and Charlotte were one in the same. Not to mention being a wanted apostate could put a real damper on a relationship if you managed to get yourself and your would-be lover captured by the templars.

"My, my, aren't you the luscious treat all spread out, ready to be devoured," Isabela purred as she walked over to her bed and sat down beside her.

"What are you doing here, Isabela?"

"What, now I need a reason to visit my lover," Isabela cooed.

"You aren't my lover," Charlie said, very melancholy.

"I'm not? Don't tell me I walked into the wrong house again," Isabela said as she feigned looking around before fixing her gaze on Charlie, "That's right, thanks for reminding me. I'm Charlie's. Where is my handsome charming boy toy? His gloomy cousin is depressing the hell out of me."

"Charlie...Charlotte and whoever else I am at the moment, has slipped into the seventh circle of hell. But thank you for asking," Charlie said dryly.

"Is there rum in this circle? If so, I want to join the party!"

"Sure, you can be the next person I pretend to be."

Isabela burst out laughing. "I would pay a pretty coin to see you act like me."

"Oh, you're easy to impersonate. Varric would be a real challenge considering the height difference… I'm not very good company today, Bells. It might be best if you found someone else to play with today."

"What has my Kitten all depressed?"

"Oh, where to begin…let's see. I'm a straight girl who ninety percent of the time pretends to be a boy who is shagging a girl pirate. The other ten percent of the time I'm a girl whose very presence places the man that she loves in danger. Speaking of the man that said girl loves, he is falling in love with her too, but he has no clue that her cousin who he also had a huge crush is none other than said girl… holy shit I think I just confused the hell out of myself."

"You know the best way to get over your problem?" Charlie shook her head. "A good ass kickin' in the sparring ring."

"And whose ass am I kickin'?"

"Oh, you aren't the one kicking ass; I will be the one kicking your whining, self pitying arse all over the ring."

"You really think so, do you? Well, I have some news for you, Wench; Charlie is going to wipe the floor clean with you."

"Oh no, I'm not sparring Charlie, I'm sparring Charlotte," Isabela purred.

"Have you gone completely insane? How am I supposed to spar as Charlotte? I won't be able to keep the wig on."

"We will just add some extra adhesive along your hairline. It will be fine. Now let's find you some rogue armor that actually fits," Isabela stated as she walked over to the pile of armor that had yet to make its way to the market, but she didn't seem to like anything she saw. She then went over to the trunk in the corner of the room. Isabela whistled as she help up a lightweight armor suit. "This would look fantastic on you. Was it made for you?"

"No, it was my father's, but my mother had it resized to fit me. I can't wear that it's for a mage," Charlie said.

"Well, that's perfect. You can say that it was the only thing that would fit. Come on, Charlie, try it on. I just want to see it on you," Isabela purred.

Charlie rolled her eyes, grabbed the armor and stepped behind the dividing screen to change. The moment that she slid into the Fugitive's Mantle her magic began to hum and sing. The extension of herself that she had forced to be silent was vibrating throughout her body and for the first time in a very long time she felt whole. She stepped out from behind the changing screen and Isabela grinned at her. "You have to wear that, Charlie. The way it hugs your curves and cinches your waist will surely keep me distracted and give you a fighting chance."

"Fine, I'll wear it," she sighed not really wanting to take it off because she missed the feel of magic on her. She grabbed her daggers and sheathed them and headed for the door when Carver came in. He looked at the two of them as his eyes furrowed. "Where the hell are the two of you going looking like that?"

"I'm about to teach Kitten a thing or two about being a rogue," Isabela cooed.

"Through drinking and brawling in bars? She knows how to do that already," He turned and faced Charlie, "Are you completely insane? Why aren't you in your disguise?"

"I am... I'm disguised as Charlotte."

"Charlotte who is a wanted mage by the templars; or did you forget that fact?"

"I'm not going to spar as a mage. It will be fine, Carver. We are going to use the sparring ring near Darktown. I have never seen templars down there. Not to mention, I really need to pretend to be myself... at least for a little bit... I don't know if you can understand this, but I'm feeling a bit lost."

"To be honest, I was wondering when the whole double life thing would start taking its toll on you. So I can understand the need to be yourself for a while. I think it would be wise to let Varric know that the two of you are sparring near Darktown. His connections can let us know if any templars are in the area. I'll send a message to him."

The circle of those who knew Charlie and Charlotte's true identify continued to grow with Varric figuring out that Charlie and Charlotte were one in the same. The dwarf had taken in the new information with his normal humor, grace and easy manner. He had proven to be a valuable asset in spinning the tales of the handsome Charlie Hawke and he was constantly on the lookout for templars seeking Ferelden mages.

Isabela massaged Carver's bicep. "Look at you... I always knew there was a brain amongst all that brawn."

"Don't let it get around. I have a reputation to keep," Carver growled.

**xxXxx**

Anders was sipping his ale with Varric, recounting the story of how he had met the infamous Dark Wolf who was actually a fake because Elissa Cousland was the original, when Fenris burst into the room.

"Varric…Varric!" The elf called out as he rounded the corner then came to halt when he saw Anders.

"What is he doing here?" Fenris hissed.

"I was invited here. You clearly weren't so the question is, what are you doing here?" Anders asked.

"I have business to discuss with Varric, which doesn't concern you, so do Thedas a favor and make yourself disappear, mage."

"How about I make you disappear instead? I think all of Thedas would thank me."

"I'll show you a new meaning for the word heartless if you even think of twitching a finger in my direction," Fenris growled.

There was a knock at the door, Varric yelled for the visitor to enter. "See Fenris, that is how polite members of society ask for permission to enter a private residence," Anders stated mockingly.

A messenger entered the room and handed Varric a note. Varric tipped the young boy and then opened the sealed parchment. Anders watched the dwarf as he quickly scanned the message, his eyebrows furrowing as he read.

"Bad news?" Anders asked.

"Huh?" Varric lifted his head. "Oh no, nothing really."

"It doesn't look like nothing, Varric," Fenris stated.

"Look boys, I would love to stay and referee this lovely argument, but I am needed somewhere else," Varric said as he slung Bianca over his shoulder. He headed for the door, crumbled up the note and threw it toward the fireplace. Anders cast a spell to retrieve it before it hit the flames. Both Fenris and Anders followed the dwarf down to the tavern and as Varric headed out the door, the two of them took a seat at a nearby table. Anders spread out the crumbled paper on the table and read.

_Varric,_

_Isabela and Charlotte are heading to the sparring ring outside of Darktown. I have grave concerns that our knights in skirts might show up. Can you please check the underground and make sure that they aren't heading our way?_

_Carver_

Anders brow furrowed as he read the note for a second time.

"What does it say, mage?"

Anders was about to make a nasty retort about learning how to read, but decided not to be so cruel. "Charlotte and Isabela are sparring near Darktown."

"Why would that make Varric take Bianca and leave? Surely the two rogues know how to handle themselves."

Anders knew that Fenris had no idea that both Charlie and Charlotte were mages and it wasn't up to him to out the two of them. "You know how vicious sparring can get that close to Darktown. I'm sure Varric just wanted some back up to make sure nothing got out of hand. I think I'm going to head down there to just to make sure no one needs to be healed."

"Please mage, who the hell are you trying to fool? Healing my ass, you just want to see Charlotte."

"I don't care what you believe," Anders grunted as he headed for the door. Fenris was on his heels in a second and the two of them quickly made their way to the sparring ring. Varric and Carver were both standing near the fence when they arrived. Both Isabela and Charlotte were engrossed in their match, but Anders could feel the magic radiating off of Charlotte.

Anders leaned into Carver and hissed, "Why the hell is she wearing mage's armor?"

"She said she couldn't find anything else to spar in," Carver said defensively.

"Carver how could you be so stupid? I can't believe you grew up in a house with mages. That armor is going to draw on her powers, it acts as a magic honing device... it will call to her until every bone in her body is crying out for her to use her magic."

"You think I don't know that? She won't listen to me, she won't listen to anyone. Even as kids she was the most stubborn person I knew," Carver hissed back.

As they turned their attention back to the match, Fenris said, "Charlotte is an excellent fighter. I'm surprised Charlie doesn't bring her out with us on missions."

"Charlie wouldn't risk the safety of any female in our family. He is much too protective of them," Carver explained.

"Well, that doesn't say much for you then," Fenris sneered.

Anders ignored the banter, he watched closely as the two rogues spun and twirled around the ring, both were evenly matched, but he could also see the frustration growing on Charlotte's face as she struggled to hold back her most powerful weapons.

Charlotte had just materialized behind Isabela, her dagger to the wench's throat. "Oh, look what I caught, a pirate wench with no ship in sight to dock in her harbor."

"I believe I have the perfect ship for your harbor, Sweet Thing," Isabela cooed as she grabbed Charlotte's forearm, bent at the waist, flipped Charlotte over her shoulder and onto her back, down at her feet.

Anders felt the veil slip open and he froze. His body tensed as he waited for the spell to be cast, but Charlotte pushed the door to the Fade closed as she rolled out of Isabela's grasp and sprung to her feet. Maker's breath, the amount of control it took to stop from casting a spell with the veil open and all of her instincts crying out for her to use the power building in her, was extraordinary. To have that kind of strength and resolve, she had to be an exceptional caster and apart of him wanted to see her in action.

Charlotte was using every ounce of concentration she had not to cast a spell at Isabela. Her body was shaking with desire to release the power that was screaming for her to use. She had just rolled away from Isabela when she heard Varric yell, "Anders, Fenris, go check around the corner I think I saw something."

As soon as they were out of sight, Varric waved her over. She leapt away from Isabela, evading her counterattack and rushed over to the dwarf. He motioned for her to bend down. He reached up and straightened her wig. "By my ancestor's hairy asses, if I'm not fixing your damn beard, I'm fixing your wig. I'm a dwarf not your personal stylist."

Charlotte leaned in, kissed Varric on the cheek. "I love you, Varric. What would I do without my trusty dwarf?"

"Probably run around Kirwall in a dress with a beard on your face instead of on your arm."

"Are you going to make out with our stout friend all day or are we going to finish this match?" Isabela yelled from behind her.

"Keep your knickers on, woman. Can't you see I'm having a moment with my friend over here?"

"For your information, I'm not wearing any!" Isabela exclaimed.

"That is really more information than I needed, Rivaini."

Anders jogged up to the pair. "I'm gone for a minute and dump me for a dwarf?" Anders asked as he winked at her.

"Not just any dwarf, Blondie, but heartbreakingly handsome dwarf with wicked sense of humor and a nasty crossbow."

"Today people, before I've worked all the alcohol out of my system," Isabela yelled.

"Would you give it rest for a minute," Anders yelled as he pulled Charlie away from everyone. "Charlotte, are you okay? I felt the veil open several times. Maybe you should just call it even and walk away before the magic overpowers you."

"I'm fine, Anders. I have it under control," Charlotte said as she kissed him on the cheek and spun around to face Isabela.

"Hey, don't tell me you're gonna be kissing everyone? Here I thought I was special," Varric grumbled.

"You are special, just not as special as me," Anders chuckled.

"You have a long way to go to reach my level of special, Blondie. I am practically a trademark," Varric chortled.

"Oh, the mage is special alright, but more in the 'I need an exorcism' kind of way," Fenris jeered.

"Let me exorcise my staff that I'm about shove up your arse."

"Would you both just pipe down? There's no need to see who can glow the best shade of blue at the moment," Varric said.

Anders took a deep breath, turned his attention back to the ring and watched the two rogues continue to go after each other for the next hour. It was such an incredible turn on watching Charlotte maneuver and counter Isabela's every move. She was grace and elegance rolled up into a deadly package. Without a doubt, Charlotte would have bested the pirate if she wasn't constantly fighting against her nature to cast a spell. He was falling for her…falling hard and even though Justice fought him on this he wouldn't…couldn't give her up.

Finally both of them decided to call it a draw. Both of the rogues made their way over to the fence. Anders handed both of them a flask of water and a towel.

"Maker, I need a drink," Isabela cooed.

"I got thirsty just watching the two of you. Let's head to the Hanged Man. First round is on me," Varric said.

"Oooo, I love it when you buy," Charlotte cooed.

They all started to head back to Lowtown when Anders pulled Charlotte into a dark alley and pressed her against a wall. This was a bold move from him, considering he had yet to even kiss her, but Maker, he just couldn't resist her any longer. Her eyes darkened with desire as he felt her breath hitch.

"Anders?"

"I can't fight what I feel for you any longer. We leave for the Deep Roads in two days. I don't want to be gone from you for months and not know the sweetness of your lips."

Anders' hand slid around her neck to her nape, he pulled her to him as his mouth finally claimed hers with all the hunger and desire that had been building up between them for the past several months. He leaned further into her, the very smell of her inundated his senses, causing his head to spin as his groin tightened with yearning for her. Maker, she felt and tasted better than anything he had experienced before.

"Oh, M-maker, Charlotte, I want… I need you so badly." He moaned just before his lips captured hers again. He devoured her mouth as he pressed his groin against her core, causing her to moan his name. He loved the sound of his name falling from her lips and he wanted to make her do it again. Her tongue darted into his mouth, danced against his like a velvet flame that burned so hot, yet so sweet through his entire body.

The hot, burning sensation starting in his groin raged through him as his tongue explored and tasted her. He deepened the kiss and her soft silky tongue intertwined and danced with his. A low moan escaped from her lips and he felt an even stronger surge of lust between his legs. She pressed into his throbbing groin and sparks of magical electrical current passed between them, causing both of them shudder and moan.

A yell came from the mouth of the alley, "Down here, I felt the veil shift."

For a brief second both of them froze as the templars entered the mouth of the alley. Anders moved Charlotte behind him, blocking most of her from their view.

"Excuse me, but you're intruding on a private moment between me and my girlfriend," Anders explained.

The templars moved closer to them, both of them had their swords drawn. As the moon moved from behind the clouds, Anders noticed the insignia on the templars sleeve was Ferelden, not the Free March's emblem. What the hell were Ferelden templars doing here?

One of them pointed at Charlotte, "She looks exactly like the sketch we have of the wanted apostate that escaped during the Blight."

Before either templar could react both Charlie and Anders froze them. Anders grabbed Charlotte's hand to rush her out of the alley. "Come on Charlotte, we have to get out of here," but Charlotte pulled her hand free of his.

She stepped up to the templar that she had frozen and she unfroze his mind. She raised her hand to his head, chanted an incantation then said out loud, "You did not find the apostate you seek here in Kirkwall. There are no apostates here that you seek. You received a tip that the girl you seek is headed for Antiva. Do you understand?"

"Yes," the templar said almost as if he were in a trance.

"Repeat it back to me," Charlotte ordered and the templar did so.

Maker's sweaty balls, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Enthralling Presence was a powerful charm spell from the school of illusion. Illusion spells were hard spells that were extremely difficult to master because it required the mage to manipulate the mind of another. Anders had only known a few illusion mages at the circle, but none that had harnessed Enthralling Presence. That spell allowed the caster to briefly control the mind of others by implanting suggestions. It was such a rare talent that Anders had only read about and never had known anyone that could cast it. The Chantry viewed Illusion mages as extremely useful and extremely dangerous. No wonder Ferelden templars were after her.

Charlotte refroze the templar. Then she looked over at Anders, "Can you release his mind for me?" Still stunned, Anders released the templar's mind and watched as Charlotte implanted the same suggestion into the second knight's mind.

Then she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the alley and away from the men. "I bet you could have them dancing the Remigold in their smalls if you put your mind to it," Anders said as they kept running.

Charlotte smiled roguishly at him. "Oh, yes, while they cut their wrist in the pale light of the full moon, but we don't have time. Let's go. NOW!"

When they had made it back to his clinic, he closed and locked the door then turned to face her. "I have only met a few mages that had enough power to effectively use illusion magic and I have never met anyone who can cast an Enthralling Presence spell. Where did you learn that?"

"From my uncle," she replied.

Anders raised an eyebrow, "Really? Malcolm Hawke was an illusion mage?"

"Charlie's father was an illusion master, it was one of the reasons that he was able to effectively conceal his family's identity for so long. When he realized that I had the aptitude for illusions, he began to train me."

"Does Charlie use illusion magic too?"

She took a moment to collect her thoughts before she answered. "I know that my uncle trained both of us in it, but what all Charlie had mastered before my uncle died, I'm not sure," Charlotte paused for a long moment the she looked up at Anders with such a sad expression on her face. "I'm sorry Anders, but I won't be here when you return from the Deep Roads."

Anders felt his heart literally stop. "What?...Why?"

"They tracked me here from Ferelden and even though I manipulated their thoughts, it's hard to tell if they will follow my suggestion or not. I can't stay here and endanger your life or my family's life. I need to leave immediately."

"NO! Please, I can't lose you. Charlotte…I need you. For the first time in a very long time I feel at peace when I'm with you. You have this amazing way of calming and comforting me…I know that we have only known each for a short period of time, but I feel as if I have known you for years. I… I lo…love everything about you and care for you deeply, Charlotte."

She stepped into him and stroked his cheek with her hand. "I love you too, Anders. I care for you more than words can say and that is why I need to leave. I need to protect you and keep you safe. Please Anders, don't make this good-bye any harder than it already is."

Anders pulled her into his arms; he dipped his head to capture her mouth in a slow, searing kiss goodbye that was such a pleasurable burn. Justice was yelling in his head to stop, that this was a mistake of disastrous portions and that his obsession with her would be their destruction.

Anders completely ignored the Spirit as he delved into her mouth, invading her, exploring… tasting – she was so sweet, so divine. It sent a tremble of helpless need through him. Her tongue slid and plunged his into his mouth – so eager, so needful. She moaned against his lips as she pushed her hips against him again. Her tongue thrust hungrily inside his mouth, retreated, and thrust again—over and over. The wild rhythm unleashed a burning flood of desire in him. He pressed against her, wanting, needing to be closer to her. The feel of her, the taste of her was intoxicating and he desperately wanted to take her and make her his. He had no willpower left when it came to this woman. All of his senses and logic completely went out the window when she was around, and all he wanted to do was please her in every way. His hand slipped up to undo the buckles of her armor…

A loud bang at the door made both of them leap apart from each other, both assumed a defensive pose ready to attack. Another loud bang followed by Isabela's loud cry, "Anders, please tell me that you and Charlotte are in there!"

Anders relaxed and opened the door. "Thank the Maker," Isabela said as she walked. "We are all frantically looking for the two of you."

"Why?" Anders asked.

"Half of Kirkwall's templars are looking for a mage fitting Charlotte's description," Isabela explained.

"What! Why?" Charlie demanded.

"I don't know all the details, but there were these Ferelden templars hunting what they describe as an 'extremely dangerous' apostate who looks like Charlotte. When the two of you didn't arrive at the Hanged Man, we all became worried about you. I need to get you to your Gamlen's house. You need to get the hell out of Kirkwall."

Charlotte nodded and turned back to Anders. "I need to go…"

"Let me walk you back to your Uncle's," Anders said.

"No, if I were to get caught I don't want you near me." She leaned in and brushed her lips against Anders and whispered so low that he barely heard her, "I love you."

He pulled her to him as he pressed his lips against her sweet mouth - so warm, inviting, and intoxicating. He didn't care that Isabela was there. He coerced her lips apart to open, to let him in. Maker, she tasted divine and she returned the kiss just as enthusiastically as she deepened the kiss, hypnotizing and mesmerizing him. As he said good-bye to her, he let go of all his reservations and gave into his all consuming yearning for this woman. All he could think about was her soft sweet lips, the silky, enticing scent of her skin. He was drowning in her, but it was a delicious, sensual undertow of unquenched desire that continued to pull him down. When they parted they were both flushed and panting. "I love you, too," he whispered back.

"Wow, that was so incredibly hot," Isabela exclaimed, fanning herself as she took Charlotte by the arm and lead her out the door.

**A/N - ****A huge shout out to everyone that has added this story to their favs and alert lists and to those that have shared your thoughts with me. I really appreciate it. I also want to thank those that have added me to their favorite author's lists. It is an honor to be mentioned among such great and talented writers.**

***For Jinx -Mia bella friend, Lei vive un mondo lontano, ma sa per favore che lei significa il mondo a me. So che questo è stato un giorno duro per lei, ma sa che l'amo. Lei è nei miei pensieri e sempre nel mio cuore. **


	7. Chapter 7 Secret

**Chapter 7**- **Secret**

"You want to know how to make me smile, take control, own me just for the night

But if I share my secret, you're gonna have to keep it, nobody else can see this

So watch and learn, I won't show you twice, head to toe, ooh baby, rub me right

But if I share my secret, you're gonna have to keep it, nobody else can see this, and it goes like this

Take me by the tongue, and I'll know you, kiss me 'til you're drunk, and I'll show you

All the moves like Jagger, I've got the moves like Jagger, I've got the moves like Jagger"

_Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5_

Anders stumbled out of the Deep Roads tunnel; he drew in a deep breath as he tilted his head back, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. Maker's arse, the past five weeks had to have been the longest in his life and after the whole episode with turning Carver over to the Grey Wardens with the hopes of saving his life, Anders now was emotionally as well as physically drained. Watching Charlie say good-bye to his brother had been heart wrenching to watch. The two of them had always had some strange bond between them, but as they said farewell Carver gripped Charlie's shoulder and desperately whispered something. Anders was able to pick up pieces of the conversation.

"Tell him…unfair…put him out of…misery…be honest …you love him… needs to know."

Now as Charlie strode up beside him, Carver's words swirled around in his head and he tried to put some kind of context to it, but was coming up short. Maybe after several nights of uninterrupted sleep things might seem clearer.

Anders slid his arm around Charlie's shoulder, "I am so sorry about Carver, but don't worry too much about him. He is strong, he will survive this."

"Yes, but will I survive my mother's wrath? That is the real questions," Charlie chuckled as he tried to make light of the situation.

"Maybe give her a nice bouquet of flowers before you break the news," Anders suggested.

"That's bloody brilliant Anders! I'll just stroll in and say, 'Here ya go Mum, I lost your son in the Deep Roads, but I brought you this lovely bouquet of roses to replace him with. Besides, Carver was kind of an ass so I thought this might help make things smell better around here'. I'm sure that will go over beautifully."

Anders chuckled. "No need to be sarcastic, it was just a suggestion."

Anders looked over at Charlie who smiled that radiant smile of his. His heart twisted in a knot as he thought about Charlotte and how she wouldn't be there when he returned to Kirkwall. The thought was depressing and Anders really didn't want to go home to all of the memories of her. While in the Deep Roads, Charlie had been a great friend as Anders wallowed in self pity and depression. Without compliant or hesitation, Charlie had let Anders vent about the unfairness of the situation, express his love for Charlotte and his hopelessness. At times he knew he made Charlie uncomfortable and the man's cheeks would burn red with embarrassment.

There was this one time in particular that came to mind because it had been the strangest conversation Anders had ever been involved in. It was almost as if everyone knew something that he didn't and they were trying to make him see the light. After a hard day of fighting, they were sitting around the campfire relaxing and drinking some of Varric's whiskey when Anders brought up Charlotte.

"_Charlie, she was perfect…in every way. I will never find that kind of perfection again no matter how hard I look," Anders groaned._

"_Oh, I don't know about that. I don't think you'll have to look that hard, Anders. Just open your bloody eyes for once," Varric chuckled. _

_Anders ignored the dwarf. "I thought I loved you Charlie… I really did, but I realized how wrong I was when I met her." _

"_Well, now I feel like a cheap piece of meat, tossed aside for a better grade of beef," Charlie laughed. _

"_It's so hard now- a-days to tell a quality product from an inferior one, you really have to give them a good squeeze, a hard rub and maybe even a nice smack to tell the difference. If I were you Charlie, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I doubt Isabela is as picky as Anders," Varric stated. _

"_I'm not picky. I just know what I like," Anders replied._

"_Oh, and what exactly does Charlotte have that Charlie doesn't," Carver argued._

_Varric raised an eyebrow, "Do I really need to explain the birds and bees to you, Junior? I left all of my diagrams in Kirkwall."_

"_Yes, Anders, besides the physical differences, I'm curious what Charlotte has that I don't?" Charlie asked._

_"You definitely know how to put your foot in your mouth, don't ya, Blondie? I would either answer very carefully or start praying for the earth to swallow me right now if I were you," Varric warned. _

"_Well, for starters she was available and interested in me. Mutual attraction is big turn on," Anders replied defensively. _

"_I've never said I didn't find you attractive, Anders. You made that assumption on your own. So what does Charlotte have that I don't?"_

_Anders paused and hung his head as he thought about the question. "To be honest Charlie, it wasn't the differences that drew me to her, it was the similarities that attracted me."_

"_So you slept with Charlotte because she reminded you of Charlie?" Varric asked._

"_We __**did **__not sleep together!" Both Anders and Charlie exclaimed in unison._

_Varric snickered as Anders' eyes widened as he stared at Charlie who was clearly scrambling for a reply. "Aaah…oh, you meant Anders and Charlotte not Anders and I," Charlie sighed clearly embarrassed. _

_Varric chuckled, "Wow you were quick to deny that, Hawke. Is the thought of sleeping with Anders disturbing?"_

_Anders watched as Charlie glared at Varric, "No, of course not… that isn't it at all…It's just, I don't want anyone getting the wrong impression." _

_"If I didn't know any better I would say your hiding something," Varric said._

"_Good thing you __**do**__ know better, Varric, I would hate to enlighten you by sticking my boot up your arse," Charlie growled as he leaned back against a log. "Besides, I'm an open book, what could I possibly be hiding?"_

_"I don't know. There's lots of room in that armor of yours. So, you tell me," Varric observed. _

_"I'm well endowed. Just ask Bells," Charlie stated dryly._

_"It runs in the family,' Carver chimed in._

_"Really? Then why do the workers at the Rose call you little Carver then?" Varric paused as Carver's face grew red. Then he continued as if pondering out loud. "Hmmm, must be because you're Hawke's little brother. Those lovely ladies at the Rose wouldn't be referring to something else now would they?" _

"_Shut up, dwarf!"_

_Anders looked over at Charlie, who on the surface looked calm, but he was twitching his foot which was a sure sign that he was agitated and Anders could tell that his irritation was directed at Varric. It was almost as if the dwarf was pushing Charlie to admit or confess something, but Anders had no idea what. Anders decided to help Varric out. He just hoped he didn't regret it later._

"_It does seem at times that you're covering something up, Charlie," Anders stated. _

"_Wow Anders, did you come to that conclusion all on your own? Maybe… just maybe I'm hiding the fact that I'm an apostate," Charlie retorted._

_"No, it's more than that. I have a feeling that it has something to do with Charlotte." He looked as if he was deep in thought for a moment before he continued, "Wait, don't tell me. She sometimes dresses up as a man to avoid templars," he joked._

_All three of them began to choke. "Close Anders, but no cigar. She actually dresses up as a male templar," Varric replied._

_"And then she serenades, Meredith outside her window," Charlie added. _

_"Before feeding her bon bons," Carver concluded._

_"This has the makings of a really good story. I just need to find a way to weave you in there, Hawke."_

As Anders stood beside Charlie now thinking about that night there was something there that bothered him. He couldn't place his finger on it, but like an itch that can't be reached, there was a tickling sensation in the back of his brain that was trying to sort through all of the pieces to form a big picture. However, probably from sheer exhaustion nothing was clicking into place.

**xxXxx**

Over the next few years life slowly return to normal. Eventually Anders fell into a daily routine of taking care of patients, writing his manifesto and helping Charlie whenever he needed his aid. At night though as he lay in bed, his thoughts would drift to Charlotte and he would ache for her. He thought about the feel of her body pressed against his, the way her lips molded perfectly to his and the sweet taste of her mouth.

Tonight, Anders was up late working on a revision to the manifesto, hoping that if exhausted, he would be able to fall into bed without any thoughts of her. He heard a loud commotion outside his door and then singing.

"Fifty-two bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-two bottles of beeeer, if one of those bottles happens to fall, f-fifty…..three bottles of beer on the wall…"

"No, it's fifty-one…we didn't add a bottle, one fell."

"I wanna add a bottle not have one fall…falling is b-bad….that's alcohol abuse."

Anders opened the door to find Charlie, Isabela and Merrill holding onto each other as they swayed back and forth.

"I am still out of hangover drought from the last time you were here," Anders stated as he opened the door wider to let them in.

Charlie tenderly poked him in the chest as he swayed on his feet, "We aren't here for healing. We are here to see you, Mr. Sexy Mage."

"N-no healing needed. We are happily and s-stupidly drunk. At least I think s-so," Merrill slurred.

"That elf can't handle her liquor," Isabela stated.

"Lick her…I hardly know her," Charlie chuckled.

Anders groaned as Charlie and Isabela burst out laughing.

"So if you aren't here for healing, why did you decide to intrude on my doorstep at this late hour," Anders said exasperated.

"What? We need a reason to visit our favorite renegade apostate?" Isabela asked.

Charlie shook his head in disgust, "There was a time that you begged me to visit you late at night. Now I could show up naked and you wouldn't even bat an eye."

Isabela spit her ale out all of herself, "Somehow I doubt that. What an eye opening experience that would be? Can you do that sometime? Show up naked on his doorstep; I really want to see his reaction to it!"

Charlie grinned at Isabela, "Maybe if you sing me that song again."

"Please, no singing," Anders said.

"Oooo, I like this song too. Please sing it, Isabela," Merrill begged and then hiccupped.

"I'll sing it if you get naked," Isabela replied.

"That's later, love…remember," Charlie said with a wink.

"I want to see Anders' expression the first time he sees you naked. You have never seen Charlie naked before, have you Anders?"

Anders shook his head, "Aaah, no, why would I?"

"Don't you find that kind of odd; I mean in all of our travels, not once have you seen him without his clothes on…. things that make you go hmmm."

Charlie threw a pillow at Isabela, "Shut up and sing."

Isabela chuckled, "Only if you help with the chorus… and you too Anders, you'll know it."

"I am not singing… and neither are you… I have neighbors that are trying to sleep."

"Oh, stop being such a party pooper," Isabela cooed as she got up and sat beside Charlie.

"Aaaah, I didn't say you had to sing it to me. Sing it like you did at the Hanged Man… to everyone," Charlie said as he slid away from her.

However, Isabela closed the distance between them as she began to sing, "I can't stop this feeling deep inside of me. Girl, you just don't realize, what you do to me…."

Anders leaned toward Merrill, "Why is Isabela singing about a girl to Charlie?"

Merrill shook her head, "That is a very good question; one that I don't have a very good answer for."

Isabela had reached the chorus, Charlie and Merrill joined in even as Charlie tried to move away from the songstress. "I'mmm, I'm hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing, that you're in love with me."

Isabela sprung onto Charlie's lap, her fingers ran across his lips as she started the next stanza, "Lips as sweet as candy, their taste stays on my mind. Girl, you keep me thirsty for another cup of wine. I got it bad for you girl, but I don't need a cure…"

"Maybe Isabela needs her eyes check," Merrill stated.

"Or her head," Anders retorted.

"All the good love, when we're all alone," Isabela crooned as she slid her hands down Charlie's chest, grabbed his groin, and as Charlie's eyes went wide, Isabela sang, "Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on. Aha-ha I'm hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing, that you're in love with me."

"It's a fucking conspiracy… and you and Varric are in on it together," Charlie hissed.

Isabela just smiled as she sang the chorus again.

Charlie glared over at Merrill, "Do you know too? Are you in on their little plot?"

"What the bloody hell is he going on about?"

"And they said I couldn't handle my liquor," Merrill replied.

Over the past few years, Charlie had grown his hair longer, but always wore it in a tight ponytail. As Isabela finished the song she reached around Charlie's neck and pulled his hair out of the holder, waves of raven black hair fell around his face and Anders blinked in astonishment as all the pieces fell into place.

"Fuck!" Charlie exclaimed as she shoved Isabela off of her lap and ran for the door.

Isabela grinned at Merrill, "Let's go, Kitten. Our work here is done."

"Oh that's good… what exactly did we do?"

Anders was on his feet in a heartbeat as he scrambled out the door and called for her, "Charlie…Charlotte!"

He saw her head up the passage to the Amell estate and he raced up tunnel after her. He caught up with her just as she entered her room, he grabbed her arm, spun her around and before she could stop him his lips covered hers and the world just fell away. His mouth moved against hers, his tongue licked and pierced her lips open as he moved between them in a fierce hunger.

Her arms wrapped around his neck as she ran her fingers through his hair. He drew her into a deeper embrace as he pressed into her. Her kiss was intoxicating.

Anders lips slid to her cheek, than to her jaw, "I've dreamed of you…" The anger and arousal pulsed in his voice. He nipped at her ear, "For three fucking years, I've ached for you and mourned what we could never have and you have been here all along."

Charlie moaned as he roughly pressed his rock hard erection against her thigh. He wanted to punish her for the years of agony that she had inflicted on both of them, but the sound of her excitement caused his hunger for her to rapidly grow. He raked his teeth along her neck, nipping at her skin, "Why Charlie? Why did you lie to me?" He hissed as his tongue licked erotically at her flesh.

Yearning surged through him, as years of aching, needing, of suffering the on the edge of dissatisfaction was finally going to end here tonight. "Why? I have to know," he growled as sucked and nipped at her earlobe.

"To protect you," she moaned.

His hand reached up and cupped her face as his fingers gently worked the adhesive on the goatee. He pulled it way exposing her beautiful face. Blood pulsed hot through his veins, heating his skin, awakening every nerve ending in his body as his lust for this woman surged through him.

"You could have told me… you could have trusted me," groaned as he pressed his tongue against her lips, sinking into the dark silk of her mouth. She shuddered against him, her nails digging into his back, through his shirt. Her tongue tangled with his, drawing him in deeper. Anders couldn't believe it…she was in his arms, feeling her touch, her kiss. She was the drug he would never recover from. He needed her like a plant needed sunlight to live. Maker help him, she brought light to his soul when nothing else had in years. He would do anything for her, kill to have her, but he couldn't go another night without being with her.

His lips moved to her neck, he nibbled and licked at her fragrant skin as she trembled and gasped in his arms.

"Anders… they have hunted me from Ferelden… I would die if they got you…"

"Sssh, let's talk about this later," Anders whispered as he pulled her shirt over her head. He stared down at her bound breasts and smiled.

"Such an elaborate charade," he whispered as he began unwinding the cloth until her breasts were completely exposed.

He looked at her admiringly…at the perfection that his mouth eagerly wanted to devour. "These are too beautiful to hide in bound strips of cloth."

A fever of want burned deeply inside of him, he never had experienced lust like this before. It never had stolen his control, had never made him tremble with hunger. Anders swiped his tongue over the hard little points, her body jerked and her hips bucked sharply.

He smiled up at her as he lowered his head and covered her nipple with his mouth. With his free hand he worked the laces on her trousers and slid them over her hips. He ran his hand over her hip to her thigh and moaned from the feel of her velvety skin. He pulled his lips from her breast as he backed her up toward the bed and eased her down. He was on top of her in a heartbeat, she arched up to meet him as his lips recaptured the swollen bud and suckled it. She chanted his name and it was music to his ears. Fuck, she was so incredibly hot, so sweet and soft he could hardly breathe from his want for her.

His hand slid down her taut stomach to the source between her legs that was radiating heat. His hand covered the cotton cloth that covered her and he slid his fingers around the edge of her panties pushing the material aside, his fingers slid into her slick, wet heat.

"Oh, Charlie," Anders panted with greedy hunger as he nibbled at the hardened tip of her breast as his hand sank deeper into her and his thumb gently circled the swollen numb. Her hips arched against his hand as her thighs opened wider to him. Her mouth parted as her breath became more ragged and her hands tightened in his hair.

"Oh, sweet Andraste, yesssss," she purred.

Anders planted soft sweeping kisses along her chest, her neck, back to her lips as he reclaimed them and his tongue eager plunged deep into her mouth tasting her sweetness once again.

"You feel so good," he growled against her lips as his fingers rhythmically glided in and out her. She cried out his name, pulled at his hair as her body went stiff and muscles clenched around his fingers as the orgasm hit her hard, rocking her body uncontrollably. Watching her as the pleasure washed over her, made his groin ache with pain to be in her.

"Maker, Charlie… I have to have you," Anders groaned as he pulled at her panties, the sound of fabric ripping filled the room. He looked up at her beautiful face, her eyes darkened with hunger and excitement and he grinned. What else, would excite her, he wondered?

Anders rolled on top of her, his lips moved over hers, molding perfectly to his before they parted and her tongue was once again intertwining with his. He moved against her, pressing his hard length against the heat of her core evoking a loud groan from him.

His lips left hers, he planted desperate kisses across her jaw, down her neck and then licked a path to her breasts. As he worked his way down her torso, his hands roamed her body sending tiny electrical pulses through her flesh. Each pulse made her moan his name in ecstasy as he took her higher and higher, but not letting her reach the pinnacle.

His lips moved to her abdomen, his tongue stroked, teeth nipped as she writhed against him. His touch and lips moved lower as his hands gently spread her thighs. A guttural groan escaped his lips as her sweet musky scent hit his nose. He looked at the already glistening curls and his mouth watered at the thought of tasting her.

"I'm going to eat you like candy, Charlie," he groaned in a deep husky voice.

He lowered his head, his hands pulled her hips closer as his tongue swiped through the dark curls and into her slick folds. Charlie cried out, her fingers clenched at the blankets as his tongue stroked every inch of her.

"So sweet," he growled against her lips before his head dipped back down and he pushed his tongue deep inside her with a slow, even stroke as his thumb vibrated against her swollen pearl. She arched into him as she begged him for more, desperate to quench the out of control fire now burning through her. He closed his lips over her throbbing nub as he sank his fingers deep inside her and released a pulsating current.

Her back arched as she threw her head back, "Oh Maker… fuck yessss!" Anders continued to lick, suck and stroke her until every last tremor had escaped her body.

Anders stood up and quickly removed his clothes then he lowered himself on top of her. He lovingly tucked a lose hair behind her ear.

"Do you know how incredibly beautiful you are, Charlie?" Anders asked in rough, low voice. He didn't give her a chance to answer as his lips moved over hers, parting them, letting the taste of her fill her mouth.

She moaned against his lips, then she gently pushed him onto his back, she straddled him, guided him into her until his hardened length filled her completely. Anders moaned as she started to rock against him. Her scent washed over him, pulling in him under and as his hands caressed the curves of her body, he was sure he was drowning in her.

"Oh, Charlie, I'll never get enough of you," Anders groaned as he grasped her hips and pressed her against him.

"I feel the same way," she sighed. Her breath was slow and deep and like the rhythm of her hips it slowly guided him toward the edge of bliss. Anders reached up, cradled her neck and pulled her to him to capture her lips with his, while his other hand cupped her full soft breast, massaging, stroking, caressing.

She quickened her pace as she reached between them and stroked herself. Oh damn, that was… that was sending him spiraling of control. She arched her back, her hair hanging down her back, breasts stretched toward the ceiling.

Anders' hand replaced hers and he caressed her as he whispered. "Let go Charlie. Come for me."

She was so enticing, her ecstasy so breathtaking, his hips surged forward with an incredible need to be deeper inside her, wanting to bury himself in her forever.

"Oh Maker, Anders, YES!"

Anders tightened his grip on her hips, pulling her into him as he arched deeper into her. She rode hard against him as he thrust into her, over and over again. She grabbed at his chest to steady herself as she rocked against him. Watching her as her body quivered against his, as she was calling out his name over and over again, set his body on fire.

Her body went ridged as her core spasmed around him, tightening and releasing rhythmically as she pulled him over the edge with her, into pure ecstasy."

She collapsed against his chest as she tried to catch her breath. Anders kissed the side of her neck and ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you, Charlie," he whispered into her ear.

She nipped at his ear and sighed, "I love you more."

He grinned as he pulled her down beside him and covered them with blanket. "Oh really, we'll have to see about that."

"Well, when you dress in a skirt and heels to protect me we will be even," Charlie chuckled as she feathered kisses on his chest.

"Oh is that all it will take to prove I love you more...well, consider it done."

Anders ran his fingers through her hair as he thought about everything that had been right in front of him the whole time. He couldn't believe that he hadn't seen it the whole. Isabela had seen it immediately...

"So this whole thing with you and Isabela..."

"Don't worry, Love she is just my beard."

"Oh so you and her never..."

"No Anders, you don't need to worry about that. I am strictly into guys. Which is why when Charlotte accidentally came along it was a perfect way for me to act like a girl. It was hard walking around all the time pretending to scratch and adjust myself."

Anders burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, love, but you never managed to pull that off well. There were numerous times I wanted to ask if you had something going on down there that you needed me to heal."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"What else did I do that made you think twice?"

"Well, I did notice that both you and Charlotte seemed very confused about which privy chamber to use."

Charlie giggled, "Trust me, there were times I couldn't remember if I was suppose to pee standing up or sitting down."

Charlie sat up, threw her leg across his stomach and straddled him. "Well, I only had Carver to teach me how to be a man, but now I have you to help me fine tune my more manly ways."

Anders couldn't take his eyes off of her luscious body and he didn't have a clue what she had just said. "Huh?"

She grinned, "I take it that is lesson number one."

Anders grabbed her waist, pushed her over on her back and rolled on top of her over. "Yes, lesson number one, don't expect a man to be able to think when the most delicious breasts he has ever seen are on display in front of him."

"The most delicious, huh?"

Anders drew one of her taut nipples into his mouth and sucked hard. "Absolutely," he groaned.

"Sooo, if some woman should show me her breasts and they happen to be a breathtaking, I should act like a bumbling idiot."

"Absolutely," Anders moaned as he move over to her other breast and drew the unattended bud into his mouth.

"Soooo..."

"Lesson number two, shut up and let me make love to you," Anders said as he claimed her mouth with his.

They spent the rest of the evening learning the details of each others bodies and how to please one another until they were both completely sated and exhausted and fell asleep in each others arms.

The following morning as the sun peaked through the curtains, Anders watched Charlie peacefully sleeping. He felt the need to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming and that he had actually made love to Charlie last night. She stirred and as she stretched to wake-up she made the cutest purring sound that immediately made him hard.

He pushed those thoughts out of his head as he shifted his hips away from her. There were things that needed to be discussed...most importantly how he could protect her.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at him.

"Good morning, sleepy head," Anders said as he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Please tell me you haven't been watching me sleep... 'cause that's kind of creepy."

"Who me? Never!"

"Liar, Liar, beware that I don't set your sexy ass on fire," Charlie cooed.

"You can kiss my sexy ass, you can spank my sexy ass, you can..."

"I get the point."

"I have one of those for you too," Anders said with a cheeky grin.

"I'm surprised you haven't hung an out of order sign on it after the work out it had last night," Charlie chuckled.

"I'm warning you, Charlie, you may have problems keeping up with me. That Grey Warden stamina is no myth."

"I'm willing to take my chance. I have Hawke blood in my veins, we're no slackers ya know."

"Speaking of your blood, how did the Ferelden templars track you down all the way in Kirkwall. They don't have a phylactery for you do they?"

"No, the only thing that they had was a description of both Bethany and I. That is why I disguised myself as a man to board a ship out of Ferelden and I had to keep up the charade even once I arrived because it was Charlie Hawke dressed as a guy that got us into the city."

Anders thought about it for a long moment. "It's a great disguise, Charlie. If for some reason you had to give up this persona, it would be easy for you to start over again."

Charlie laughed. "Great minds think alike."

"I also think you should continue using Isabela as your beard."

"Well that's right up her ally... she loves when I use her." Charlie ran her fingers through his hair. "If I keep using Isabela as my beard, what am I using you for?"

"Outrageous nights of mindblowing sex would be a great start."

"And?"

"Oh, and a happy long life together, naturally."

"Hmmm, I like the sound of that. When can we start on that?"

Anders pulled her on top of him, "Is now to soon?" He asked as he ran his hand back to the nape of her neck, pulled her to him and claimed her once again as his.

**Epilogue**

How the hell would I know how it turned out? You're the ones that played the game...you tell me!

* * *

><p><strong>AN – Since the Twelfth Night is a comedy I thought this was a perfect place to end the story because Act III is really a tragedy. I really hope you enjoyed the Dragon Age version of this play. Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed and added it to their lists. I really appreciate the support.**

***A huge shout out and be big hug to my Beta Goddess, Jinxy for her help with this entire story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart putting up with my craziness and standing by me. You are the best and I am lucky to have you as a beta and more importantly as a friend. Thank you!**


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